Category: Uncategorized

Chapter 2.

“What’s so funny?” Zale asked grumpily.

“You. This. All of this. Especially the you being the god of the dead part. And, and you need me to do what exactly?” Joseph shook his head. “You said I have to find your body to bring back spring or something? I don’t understand what’s going on!”

Zale sighed. “I promise that I will explain everything. Come here and sit with me. This is much easier if you cooperate.”

“I don’t want to sit down! I want answers now!” Joseph snapped, crossing his arms and moving away from the door. He couldn’t stand to see those spirits any longer, and he was grateful when Zale shut it.

Yes, it was weird that Zale shut the door without touching it, but at least Joseph didn’t have to hear the undead wailing now.  

“Ask away.” Zale snorted briskly.

“Okay, bringing back spring, all that.” Joseph took a deep breath. “I help you and then I can go home? No more crazy Underworld full of dead people?”

“Yes.”

“Why bother with the date?” Joseph frowned. “Why do all of this romantic crap, huh? Why… why make me think that you liked me?” He buried the sting in his heart and cruelly snarked, “As I recall, Persephone is kinda the jealous type.”

“Ah, you don’t understand.” Zale smirked. “For the next six months, you are my Persephone.”

“Me?” 

“This task can only be fulfilled by my bride.”

“I’m very pretty, but I think I’m more of a groom.”

“Bride or groom, it matters not. You accepted a gift from me, an engagement gift, and then we shared a meal and a bed together. According to the old ways, we are now wed. Until spring arrives, you’re prince-consort of the Underworld, Joseph Abrams.”

“Oh…” Joseph gulped. “Isn’t that… neat.”

“You will want for nothing,” Zale went on with a flourish of his hand. “You will be given luxuries appropriate to your new station and treasures beyond your wildest dreams. Think of it as compensation for the time you will be spending here with me. As long as you are able to successfully reconstruct my vessel and allow me to summon spring, I will grant you a divorce and you’ll leave here a rich man. Do you understand?”

“Yes?” Joseph blushed. “And my other, eh, husbandly duties?”

“I will not touch you again,” Zale assured him. “Even if I wanted to, my physical form has been lost and you need not worry about me taking you to bed again.”

“Ha! As if I’d let you!” Joseph sneered. “You tricked me! You did all of this and just, just… You used me!”

“For what it’s worth, I apologize for the inconvenience this is causing,” Zale said smoothly.

“Screw your apology!” Joseph barked, his burst of anger taking him by surprise but refusing to let it fade out. “You could have just told me the truth instead of lying to me!”

“Right.” Zale scoffed. “Tell you that I’m the god of the dead and I need you to find the broken pieces of my corpse to resurrect myself and ensure the changing of the seasons?”

“Well…” Joseph paused. “You still shouldn’t have lied to me! I really thought, you know, that you might have…” He dared to meet Zale’s eyes. “Was any of this real?”

“No,” Zale said softly. “I’m sorry, but the deception was necessary to bring you here. I’m sure you’ll find your compensation more than enough. The others all did.”

“The others?”

“Yes.”

“You do this every year?” Joseph realized out loud.

“Yes,” Zale replied, a strange sadness softening his cold expression. “I have to find a new bride every fall. No one ever stays.”

“Hard to believe with that charming personality of yours.” Joseph snorted. “You’re such a catch.”

Zale actually cracked a small smile. “You would think I’d be impossible to resist.”

“Right?” Joseph laughed, catching Zale’s eyes, which were twinkling with a playful mischief. He could feel that familiar surge of chemistry bubbling between them, but it was over all too quickly.

Zale was walking away and leaving Joseph alone.

Zale paused to bow, saying, “We start tomorrow.” When he opened the door, it was a normal hallway once more. “Sleep now. I’ll come to you at breakfast.”

“Yup.” Joseph scowled. “Can’t wait to learn all about tracking down body parts. Should be super fun.”

Zale rolled his eyes. “Good night, Joseph.”

“Good night,” Joseph replied, sighing wistfully as the door shut. He flopped back on the bed and scrubbed his hands over his face.

He wished he had never bothered with internet dating.

Being harassed by creeps and perverts was bad enough, but he couldn’t have ever imagined getting himself married to an ancient god being a potential risk. Really should have canceled the damn subscription when he had the chance.

But being prince-consort of the underworld for the next six months…

Could be worse, right?

~*~

When Joseph woke up, there was a brief moment where he thought everything had been a terrible and weird dream. He would be able to go home, cancel that stupid dating website subscription, and his life was going to go back to normal. Finding himself in Zale’s bed was a stark reminder that last night had been exceptionally real.

And passionate.

And amazing.

And full of wailing corpses and caves and…

Fuck.

Joseph rolled over and saw the watch Zale had given him resting on the bedside table. Immediately, his stomach twisted. He threw it as hard as he could and then scowled when it made a less than satisfying tink against the wall.

If he had a hammer, he would have smashed it into pieces.

There was a tray of food at the foot of the bed he hadn’t seen before, having appeared as if by magic. It was pancakes with strawberry syrup and whipped cream, his favorite. He couldn’t recall if he had told Zale that or not, but it didn’t matter.

He wasn’t hungry.

Joseph got out of bed to find the bathroom, but he stopped when he spotted a set of clothes hanging up by the desk. It was a pair of dark jeans and a red dress shirt. He didn’t see his own clothes anywhere, and he sighed, taking the new clothes with him to a door that he hoped was the bathroom and not another cave full of dead people.

It was a bathroom, thankfully, and he shut the door behind him to use the toilet and get changed. He was half tempted to refuse the gift and walk around naked out of spite, but he didn’t want to give Zale any ideas. 

“Better not,” Joseph mumbled to himself as he left the bathroom. “He’d probably like it… Jerk.”

“Probably like what?” Zale’s voice purred out of nowhere, startling Joseph.

“Jesus!” Joseph clutched his chest and glared at Zale furiously.

The handsome god of the dead was wearing a trim black suit that he had no right to look so gorgeous in. It was painful how attractive he was and the agony was compounded by how much Joseph wanted to hate him and couldn’t quite bring himself to.

“Don’t you knock?” Joseph raged on, trying to hide his gawking and ignore his conflicted feelings.

“You didn’t eat your breakfast.” Zale frowned.

“Wow. Those are some amazing powers of observation.” Joseph pretended to gasp. “You must be a god!”

“Does it not please you?”

“No!” Joseph reached out to jab Zale in the chest. His finger passed right through him as before, and he groaned. “No! None of this is pleasing!”

“I’m sorry. The sooner we begin, the better,” Zale said curtly. 

“Okay.” Joseph crossed his arms over his chest. “How do we start?”

“I follow your lead into the realms of the Underworld,” Zale explained. “The pieces of my vessel are always scattered there. I’ll show you around and you will seek them out.”

“How long is this gonna take?”

“That’s up to you,” Zale said simply. “You’re the only one who can find them.”

“And how am I doing that again?”

Zale motioned towards the door, magically opening it up and revealing a dark staircase. “You’ll know.”

“Right.” Joseph grunted, hesitantly following him down the steps. “So, is this Hell?”

“Yes, but it’s also Heaven and everything in between. Souls are energy and this is where they gather when they pass on.”

“They’re gathered for judgment?” 

“Not exactly,” Zale said with a small tilt of his head. “We judge, but not to reward or punish, not quite in the way that you’re thinking.”

“Well? What is it then?”

“I’ll show you.”

The stairs varied between raw rock and polished marble, as if the architecture couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. They led down to a big gate and through that into a large chamber, miserably cold and grim. Opposite the gates was a tall mirror mounted on the wall, the massive frame extending from the floor to the ceiling. The shining glass reflected the room and Joseph, but not Zale. The image of the incorporeal god next to him being absent made Joseph shiver.

From the stone walls around them, thick elaborate pillars were peeking out and there was an ornate altar rising up from the floor. There was a faint outline of a human figure on top, and rotten offerings of fruit and flowers were strewn around the base.

Zale raised his hand, and all the mess magically cleared away. He gestured toward the altar, saying, “This is where you’ll bring the pieces of my vessel as you gather them.”

“Very cheerful,” Joseph said sarcastically. “Maybe you could add some cobwebs and a skeleton to really set the mood?”

Zale snorted, and the ends of his mouth twitched in a small smile. “I’ll talk to my decorator, see what he can do.”

“Yeah, get right on that. Tell him to pick out some new curtains too.” Joseph laughed, hating how easy it was to find their playful banter again. He found himself smiling awkwardly, clearing his throat as he asked, “Right, so, what now?”

“Well, you wanted to know what happens to souls when they pass on.” Zale nodded toward the mirror. The surface of the glass rippled like water, resonating with Zale’s voice as he said, “Step through.”

“And where does this go?” 

“Where you want to go.”

“Home?” Joseph asked wistfully.

“No,” Zale replied flatly. “Trust me, step through the mirror.”

“Trust you?” Joseph scowled. “Trust you and just waltz through the weird, jiggly mirror? Ha! Maybe you’ve already forgotten how you lied to me? Remember all the lying? And how you used me? For all of this crazy crap? And you… you…”

You said it wasn’t real.

“Trust that I mean you no harm,” Zale soothed. “I want my body back and the seasons to change, all right? And you want to go home. Neither of our goals can be accomplished without a little faith.”

“Fine.” Joseph growled, his heart aching as he stalked towards the mirror. He wished there had been some part of Zale that really cared, but maybe it would be easier this way. He willed away the urge to cry and focused on getting this over with.

Which meant having to go through the weird, jiggly mirror.

Great.

What fun.

Touching the mirror reminded him of cold silly putty, slick and wet and slimy, but his hand could pass right through as if it were made of air. He stepped forward, finding himself in—surprise—another cave.

But this one was different.

It was warm and lit with glowing torches, their amber light filling every crevice. It felt inviting and almost cozy. The atmosphere was completely different from the other part of the underground kingdom Joseph had seen so far.

There were thousands of spheres of light floating through the air, pink and orange and yellow, begging to be touched. Joseph couldn’t explain why he wanted to reach out to them, and he tried to keep his hands down by his sides.

Zale materialized beside him, urging softly, “Go on. It’s all right.”

“What are they?” Joseph asked.

“A little piece of Heaven,” Zale said with a tender smile, reaching over as if to guide Joseph’s hand. He couldn’t make physical contact, but Joseph felt the warmth of his skin nonetheless and followed his lead.

The moment Joseph’s fingers made contact with the sphere, he and Zale were taken from the cave into a giant field of flowers. There was a large pink castle in front of them with stuffed unicorn guards peeking down at them from the towers above.

A little girl was running out from the castle gates, waving excitedly as she shouted, “Hey, Mr. Pluto!”

“Hi, Sally.” Zale dropped to a knee to intercept her as she tackled him with a giant hug.

“This is… Oh!” Joseph grimaced, not sure how to react when he realized Zale was able to touch her.

“Sally, this is Joseph,” Zale said, giving her a small pat. “Joseph, meet Sally.”

“Uh, hi,” Joseph greeted. “I really like your castle!”

“Thanks!” Sally beamed with pride. “Mr. Pluto made it for me. It was my design, of course.”

“Of course,” Zale echoed with a little wink.

“You made all of this for her?” Joseph found himself smiling. “Her very own little Heaven?”

“I make them for every soul that passes through my kingdom,” Zale replied. “An afterlife suited to their needs, their desires, all according to the nature of the person they were while they were alive. I make sure these places are here waiting for them. Although not all are as pleasant as this one.”

Joseph understood what he meant immediately.

“Is he new here?” Sally asked in a loud whisper.

“He’s my groom for the season,” Zale said. “I’m showing him around.”

“Okay!” Sally studied Joseph carefully and then whispered again, “Maybe try to keep this one. He’s really cute!”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Zale chuckled while Joseph blushed.

“Well, I’m gonna go make cookies for my unicorns,” Sally announced, waving as she headed back into her castle. “Bye, Mr. Pluto! Bye, Joseph!”

“Bye, Sally!” Joseph waved back, and then he looked to Zale with a curious smirk. “Mr. Pluto, huh?”

“I’m different things to different people,” Zale said with a shrug. “An angel for some, a demon for others.”

“Did you…” Joseph narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Did you just paraphrase Hellraiser?”

“Guilty.” Zale grinned. He waved his hand and transported them back into the warm cave. “Good source of inspiration for creating Hells, you know. Pretty much anything Clive Barker did, really.”

“I can imagine.” Joseph laughed nervously, his mind reeling with the horrific possibilities. He got lost in Zale’s smile before he remembered how mad he was at him. He cleared his throat as he asked hastily, “So, is my Heaven ready? Like, how far in advance do you make them?”

“Yours isn’t ready yet. And generally speaking, there’s always a place waiting for a soul. I just have to add a few special touches to make it theirs.”

“And you do this for everyone? That’s gotta be, like, thousands of souls every day!”

“Good thing I’m a god. I’m a pretty talented multitasker.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Joseph snorted. “Rub it in for us puny mortals who can’t even walk and chew gum. How do you even know who gets what? You said you don’t judge them.”

“It’s not as black and white as you might think.” Zale paused. “Evil and good comes in many different shades and the afterlife that’s awarded to someone reflects that. It may not be all fire and brimstone, but perhaps an eternity trapped behind a computer in a tiny cubicle.”

“Yeah, see, that definitely sounds like Hell to me.” 

“But it could be Heaven for someone else,” Zale pointed out. “I do my best to tailor every afterlife to what a person deserves. Or, in some cases, what a person thinks they deserve.”

“Still seems like you’re judging them.” Joseph shook his head, suddenly feeling an odd pull. 

And there, wait, he could hear a bell.

Joseph turned toward the sound. 

“Joseph?” Zale sounded concerned.

“Something weird… I just…” Joseph frowned as the sound got louder, and he followed it.

Zale didn’t move, standing back and allowing Joseph to wander away.

Joseph couldn’t explain the sound, but it reminded him of a wind chime being teased by a light breeze. In between the tinkling notes, he tried to stay focused on the pulling sensation he felt in his gut. Maybe this was what Zale had been talking about, how he would know where to find the pieces.

Unless he’d lied about that too.

Joseph couldn’t help how bitter his thoughts turned, but the sting of Zale’s betrayal was much too fresh. He didn’t care that he was going to leave this place a rich man. He would have much rather been able to keep the sweet man whose bed he had shared.

His feet brought him to a stop, and his hands unconsciously rose into the air. The chiming was louder, almost shrill, and the tips of his fingers brushed over something warm and wet. He grabbed on to it and then pulled the object close to his chest with a gasp.

It appeared in his palms in a blink—a vibrant red human heart. It was glowing, warm and alive, the flesh seeming to shimmer all over as it pulsed.

Joseph promptly shrieked and dropped it on the floor.

“Hey!” Zale protested.

“Sorry! Sorry, sorry!” Joseph cried, kneeling to pick it up. “My bad.”

“You just dropped my heart on the floor! My ancient, timeless, immortal heart—”

“Okay, I said I was sorry.” Joseph hissed. “It’s fucking slimy! Come on. Give me a break.”

Zale rolled his eyes, waving his hand and taking them back into the cave with the altar. “In the thousands of years that I’ve been performing this sacred ritual, no one has ever dropped my organs—”

“How many more times do I have to apologize?” Joseph growled, setting the heart down in a huff on the stone altar. “I didn’t think it was actually going to be, you know, an actual heart!”

“What did you think it would be? A cartoon drawn on a piece of paper?”

“Would be a lot less fucking gross.”

Zale curled his lip up, sighing in frustration. “The first task is done, but there are still more ahead.”

“Are there going to be more literal nasty body parts?” Joseph grumbled as he wiped his hands off on his jeans.

“Didn’t think my parts were nasty last night,” Zale quickly reminded him with a smug smile.

“That’s before I knew they were all attached to the world’s biggest asshole,” Joseph shot back, his cheeks heating up.

Zale flicked his hand at the altar, and the heart suddenly dissolved away into the stone. “Mm. You’re still angry with me.”

“Yes! I’m still angry.” Joseph struggled to keep from shouting. “I thought I’d met the perfect guy and nope, you turned out to be a prick of godly proportions!”

“Prick of godly proportions,” a male voice said with a giggle. “That’s a new one.”

Joseph looked all around to find the owner of the new voice, groaning, “Ugh, now what?”

A beautiful young man with long blond hair appeared in front of him, wearing a crop-top blouse and high-waisted jeans. His makeup was glittering, his hair flawlessly curled, and he was just as stunning as Zale, though he looked much younger. He wiggled his fingers at Joseph, greeting, “Hi there, sweetie. I’m your new brother-in-law!”

“Another god?” Joseph asked weakly, backing away a few steps. He was never going to get used to all of this magical weirdness.

“Yes!” the god said, planting his hands on his hips. “You can call me Jayden! It’s so lovely to meet you! So, you’re the lucky one my brother managed to catch, huh?”

“What are you the god of? Awkward comments?”

“No, silly!” Jayden laughed. “Love, beauty, fertility, and unfortunate accidents.”

“What? Love, like Aphrodite?”

“And Eros, Cliodhna, Frigg, Ishtar, and so on,” Jayden said, flipping his long hair. “With a small splash of poor ol’ Hyacinth because oops, crap happens.”

“Huh?” Joseph really wished he had read more.

“Stick with Aphrodite and add the irony of being hit by a car after surviving open heart surgery,” Zale drawled.

“Right.”

Jayden approached the altar, running his long nails along the edge. He seemed to be able to sense something, gasping and whirling around to face his brother as he demanded, “He found your heart? Already?”

“Yes,” Zale replied calmly, his expression blank.

“Do you have any idea how amazing that is?” Jayden now asked Joseph. “Only one other person has ever found his heart first, and she—”

“Doesn’t matter,” Zale cut in quickly.

“We have to celebrate!”

“No, we don’t,” Zale retorted.

“We can have the party in your depressing little club!” Jayden went on, ignoring his brother’s refusal. “With some actual living people and not all those creepy damned souls—”

“Wait, those people were dead people?” Joseph cut in.

“Yes! He hasn’t finished showing you around yet?” Jayden rolled his eyes. “Slacker.”

“Today is only the first day,” Zale growled, clearly frustrated with his brother, but Jayden showed no signs of stopping.

“I’ll invite the whole family!” Jayden exclaimed. “This is going to be incredible!” He playfully swatted Joseph’s arm, laughing. “And you have no idea what you’ve even done, huh?”

“I have the feeling that you’re about to tell me.”

“The only other person to find Zale’s heart first was his very first bride,” Jayden said with a wink. “Persephone herself.”

Joseph had no idea what to make of that, but he could tell that Zale was extremely uncomfortable.

“Maybe there’s hope for you yet,” Jayden declared, although it wasn’t clear if he was referring to Joseph or Zale. “I’ll handle the party, you two just have to remember to show up. Say, eight o’clock?”

“No,” was Zale’s flat response.

“I think it sounds fantastic,” Joseph said, pleased that his enthusiasm made Zale’s eye twitch. “Hanging out with a bunch of gods and goddesses and dead people? Count me in. It’ll be great.”

“Wonderful!” Jayden cheered. “I have a board meeting this afternoon, but after that I’m free.”

“A god has a board meeting?” Joseph asked curiously.

“When the god is the CEO of a very popular boutique cosmetics company, yes, he does.”

“Wait, you’re Jayden Glamore!” Joseph suddenly put it all together, staring at him in awe. “You’re the CEO of Glamore Bath and Beauty, right? I love your cucumber melon body lotion. I swear, it’s life changing for sensitive skin.”

“Thank you.” Jayden beamed. “Always nice to meet a fan.”

“I’m literally the god of the dead, responsible for all living souls and the changing of the seasons, and you’re impressed by some lotion?” Zale actually looked offended.

“It’s really good lotion,” Joseph protested. 

“I’ll have a special little gift basket delivered for you,” Jayden said. “Think of it as a late wedding present.”

“Wow!” Joseph gushed. “Thank you.”

“Aw, it’s nothing.” Jayden batted his eyes. “Now, I have to run, but you boys have fun with your little scavenger hunt and I’ll see you tonight.”

“No,” Zale said stiffly, still clearly not pleased.

“Oh, shush.” Jayden blew kisses as he faded away. “Tonight. Eight o’clock.”

Joseph waved farewell, smirking at Zale’s sour face. “What’s wrong? Sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun.”

“Your participation isn’t necessary,” Zale said with a little sneer. “My brother gets carried away.”

“Does he do this with all your brides and grooms?”

Zale tilted his head, seeming to think over his response before finally sighing. “No, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“It’s just a party,” Joseph said. “What’s the big deal?”

“Do you know what happens when you get immortals together and get them drunk?”

“No?”

Zale gave another fiercely dramatic eye roll. “Well, you’re going to find out tonight.”

<– PREV | NEXT –>

Chapter 1.

Joseph Abrams had thought he’d never have any luck with online dating, but damn if Zale Petropoulos wasn’t set on changing his mind.

Joseph’s experiences up until now had been tainted with an endless flow of egotistical jerks and unsolicited dick pics, and he was ready to give up. He figured there just weren’t any decent guys left out there in cyberspace and was contemplating canceling the dating service.

But then he found Zale.

Joseph first saw him while mindlessly scrolling through a list of potential partners, and a pair of piercing blue eyes and pouty lips immediately caught his attention. This guy was hot, movie star on the cover of magazines hot, and though he was certainly out of Joseph’s league, he had to click for a closer look.

Zale was the owner of those pretty blue eyes, and he was the most beautiful man Joseph had ever seen. Zale had a wicked smile, dark curly hair, gorgeous bronze skin, and a devilishly charming personality that managed to ooze through every pixel of his flawless profile pictures.

Oh, Joseph was definitely interested.

He skimmed over the rest of Zale’s profile and was soon picking out wallpaper patterns and naming all their future children. They liked the same obscure books, geeky television shows, and painfully cheesy jokes. Zale’s goal in life was to find someone to love forever and Joseph thought that was insanely romantic.

Zale’s job description was vague—a businessman in the imports business.

Whatever the hell that meant.

Joseph couldn’t believe he had so much in common with such an attractive guy. Sure, there were a few years between them, Zale being his senior by at least a decade, but he couldn’t resist that devilish grin.

He had to at least try.

Before Joseph could second-guess himself, he sent Zale a message.

He got up to make a snack and by the time he returned, he already had a response. 

Zale wanted to meet him for dinner.

Joseph almost choked on his chips as he scrambled to reply. They hashed out plans to go out on Friday, though Joseph would have gone out that very night if Zale had offered. Joseph floated through the rest of the week, telling anyone and everyone who would listen how excited he was about his upcoming date.

Zale wanted to go get coffee first at Joseph’s favorite coffee shop so they could chat for a bit before heading out to dinner. Through his work, Zale was able to get reservations at a very exclusive restaurant and then they would finish off their evening with drinks and dancing at a hot local club.

It all sounded amazing and Joseph had never been so happy that he’d taken a chance on an internet dating profile. 

Leading up to the big night, he and Zale traded at least a dozen more emails. Zale was easy to talk to, and Joseph loved how attentive he was. Zale always replied to every part of his messages and asked lots of questions, teasing that he wanted to learn everything about Joseph that he could. It was refreshing for someone to be so genuinely interested, and Joseph could not remember the last time he’d been so pumped for a date.

When the special night finally arrived, Joseph changed outfits three times before settling on a purple dress shirt, fitted jeans, and a black belt to match his boots. He wanted to look sharp but not too high maintenance. He threw on a splash of musky cologne and then he was out the door, stopping only to grab a jacket.

Fall was fast approaching and although the weather was expected to be pleasant, the evening had the potential to get quite chilly once the sun went down.

Joseph took a cab down to the coffee shop, wondering now if caffeine was a good way to start a date. He was already jittery as he walked inside, and he was certain coffee was only going to make it worse. He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from fidgeting as he looked around for Zale. 

“You look incredible,” a husky voice purred in his ear, “and here you were so worried.”

“Zale!” Joseph gasped, whirling around to find his date standing right behind him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Zale offered his arm and an apologetic smile.

Zale was a thousand times more gorgeous in person, and that warm smile was worth every penny of that damn subscription fee.

“Ha! Oh! It’s fine! Totally fine!” Joseph took a deep breath, trying to calm down as Zale led him over to a booth. “You can startle me any time you want. Any time at all.”

Zale grinned, and Joseph wanted to melt into the floor.

“You really do look amazing.” Zale eyed Joseph appreciatively as he sat beside him.

“Wow, thank you.” Joseph beamed. “For the record, you know, I was only a little worried because I knew you were going to be stunning.”

Stunning wasn’t quite the right word, but Joseph couldn’t think of any other adjective in the English language to capture how attractive Zale was.

He looked as if he’d walked right off the cover of a magazine, dressed impeccably in a crisp suit with diamonds in his cuffs and slick black shoes. He wore no tie and his shirt was unbuttoned just enough to be deliciously scandalous and reveal a silver chain glittering in his dark chest hair. From his shoes to his jewelry, it was clear that Zale was not wanting for much. 

Except love, if he’d meant what he’d written in his profile.

“Well, we can keep arguing about who is more gorgeous,” Zale teased, “or we can just agree that we’re both beautiful beyond mortal comprehension?”

“Deal!” Joseph laughed, and his face heated up when Zale reached to take his hand.

“I’m so very happy you agreed to go out with me,” Zale said, his dazzling blue eyes burning into Joseph’s. “I do hope that you’ll enjoy our time together.”

“Oh, definitely.” Joseph smiled shyly. “I’m really, really enjoying it so far and it’s only been, like, five minutes.”

“I hope you don’t find this too forward, but I have a gift for you.”

“A gift?”

“Yes.” Zale produced a small box from his coat and then slid it over the table to Joseph. “Open it.”

Joseph blinked, slowly removing the ribbon and cracking open the box. There was a distinct crown logo imprinted on the satin interior that he recognized immediately, and he gawked at the spectacular watch within. It was gold with ruby chips shining at every hour, exquisitely crafted, and probably cost more than what he made in six months.

“Zale!” Joseph drew his hands back and stared at the open box. “It’s… it’s…”

“Too much, I’m sure.” Zale chuckled, lifting the watch out. He took Joseph’s hand so he could fasten it around his wrist. “I wanted to thank you for all the time you’ve already spent on me and all the time to come.”

“It’s beautiful,” Joseph said at last. The sentiment touched his heart deeper than the obvious value of such a gift, and he was honestly stunned by both. “But I don’t have anything for you!”

“The pleasure of your company is a gift all on its own,” Zale replied with a warm smile.

“Thank you,” Joseph said sincerely. “Thank you so much.”

God bless the internet, he thought, for leading him to this wonderful man.

They kept chatting and ordered coffee, and Joseph couldn’t stop admiring his new watch. It was soon time to head to dinner, and Zale made a quick phone call to summon a limo for them.

Joseph felt positively spoiled and even more curious about what it was exactly that Zale did for a living to afford such luxury. He didn’t press, eager to get to dinner and enjoy the fancy food. Their dinner conversation soon turned into a heated discussion about their favorite sci-fi franchises, sharing their favorite corny jokes, and debating which fictional characters would win against who in a fight.

It was perfect.

After dinner, the limo took them downtown to Erebus. It was an exclusive club that was infamously difficult to get into, and crowds often lined up around the block for hours hoping for a chance. Joseph was nervous when Zale had the limo bring them right up front, wondering how long they would have to wait.

Apparently, not at all.

Zale offered his hand to help Joseph out and then led him directly to the entrance, cutting off the line entirely.

“Good evening, Mr. Petropoulos,” the bouncer greeted, moving the rope and letting them both through. He even opened the door for them.

“Whoa.” Joseph clung to Zale’s arm as they walked in. “The guy knows your name?”

“He should.” Zale chuckled. “I’m the one signing his paychecks.”

“Wait, you own this place?”

“One of my many business ventures,” Zale replied vaguely. “Now, the house special is a pomegranate martini. It’s my very own recipe and I’m dying for you to try it.”

Joseph let himself get whisked over to the bar, trying to remember to breathe. This was the best date he had ever been on and he half-expected to wake up and find it was all a lovely dream. Until then, he wanted to enjoy every second of it.

The club was dark and oddly somber despite the frantically popping bass. It was decorated in bright colors, lush and gorgeous, and yet there was still something almost macabre about it that Joseph couldn’t quite place.

Maybe it was how cold it was in spite of the thick crowd of people or how the patrons at the bar seemed so depressed. Even the people on the dance floor looked unhappy no matter how passionately their bodies were gyrating.

Joseph didn’t think much more about it, his focus returning to Zale. His mood was too bright to be dimmed by the gloomy atmosphere. He was eager to try the drink and sipped it to prepare himself for the burn of booze.

Surprisingly, it was sweet and smooth—so smooth that Joseph swallowed nearly half the glass in one gulp.

“Didn’t like it?” Zale teased.

“Not at all,” Joseph replied with a grin. “It was just awful.” He finished it off and then asked politely, “May I have another?”

“Absolutely.”

Joseph accepted the new drink from the speedy bartender, laughing as he promised, “I’ll actually take my time with this one!”

“I’m glad you like it.” Zale was drinking a glass of wine so dark it was black.

Joseph got distracted by the strange hue.

Was it really black? Or wait, was it pink? No, it was purple. 

Joseph stared, watching the liquid changing color before his very eyes.

Before he could ask what it was, Zale grabbed his hand and led him to the dance floor. Joseph forgot all about the weird wine, chugging down his second martini and leaving the empty glass on a nearby table as they slipped into the crowd.

Zale’s arms slipped around Joseph’s waist, and he pressed their hips close and rocked them to the thundering music. Joseph let himself get lost in Zale’s arms, and they danced for several songs, with brief trips back to the bar to refuel.

Joseph promised himself that his sixth martini would be his last, happily buzzing as he and Zale took another spin around the floor. He loved how their bodies moved together, and his hands bravely explored the broad lines of Zale’s shoulders and chest.

Zale had kept his hands at respectable levels so far this evening, but now his fingers were dipping lower along Joseph’s hips and teasing over the top of his ass. Zale leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “Would you like to go somewhere more… private?”

“Absolutely.”

Zale took Joseph’s hand, pressing a kiss to it as he guided him back out of the sea of people. There was a door behind the bar and on the other side was a long staircase leading up.

Joseph had all sorts of ideas of what might be waiting at the top of those stairs, and he was excited. He was definitely interested in finding out if Zale’s skills on the dance floor applied to other areas, and Joseph resisted the urge to pump his fist in the air when they walked in and he saw a big bed.

The room was a suite of some sort, so lush that Joseph’s only comparisons were the grand hotel penthouses that criminals always seemed to have in the movies. There was a large silk screen set up beside an ornate mahogany desk, a cozy sitting area with glass top tables and plush furniture, and tucked away behind a wall of thick curtains was a king-sized bed. 

“Zale?” Joseph swayed against him. He couldn’t believe he was actually standing in a place so fine. “Are you a drug dealer?”

“No.” Zale snickered, obviously amused. “My business, while a tad clandestine, is perfectly legal.”

“Don’t suppose you’re ever going to share what exactly that business is?” 

“Perhaps I can show you.” Zale strolled toward the silk screen by his desk. He pushed the screen back, revealing a mannequin draped in jewels.

It was an elaborate necklace—a thick collar with dozens of long golden chains glittering with countless diamonds. They were all of varying lengths, some dangling well below the edge of the mannequin’s base.

Joseph’s jaw dropped as he came closer to inspect the extraordinary piece. “What is this?”

“It’s said to have once graced the body of Ganymede himself,” Zale replied with a mysterious grin. “Crafted for him by Hephaestus on the personal order of Zeus.”

“Wow,” Joseph breathed, instinctively drawing his hands to his sides as if he might accidentally bump into the mannequin and disturb the beautiful piece. “It’s incredible. It’s… it’s what? Something you’re selling?”

“I helped acquire it for a very special client. That’s sort of what I do. I help find things that people want.”

“Huh. What would you even wear with something like that?” Joseph wondered out loud.

“Nothing.” Zale chuckled.

“Huh?”

“You’d wear that and nothing else.”

“O-oh.” 

“Would you like to try it on?” Zale asked. “You don’t have to strip completely, of course, but it’s not being sent out for a few more days.”

“Really?” Joseph grinned. “You’d let me put that on?”

“Yes.”

“It’s literally worth, like, freakin’ millions.”

“Mmm, but the joy of seeing you in it would be priceless,” Zale countered, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Yeah?” Joseph blushed a million shades of red, but he unbuttoned his shirt. “Well, if you insist.”

Zale took Joseph’s shirt and his new watch, setting them aside before lifting the massive necklace off the mannequin. He stepped behind him, gingerly draping it around his neck and fastening the thick collar.

Joseph shivered, an instant response to the cool metal touching his skin and having Zale in such close proximity to his body. He exhaled slowly, watching all the delicate chains glittering over his lean torso and gasping in awe.

It was lighter than he thought it would be, and he turned to find his reflection in a mirror he hadn’t noticed before. The gold looked marvelous with his complexion and he felt beautiful enough to be a consort for a god.

Although Zale was right. It was something meant to be worn on its own. His slacks and old shoes looked a little silly in contrast to the fancy jewelry even though he loved how Zale was looking at him right now.

The date had been so perfect, beyond compare, and Joseph already knew exactly how he wanted it to end.

His fingers unbuckled his belt and then went for his fly, releasing the button and zipper. He pushed his pants and underwear down in one quick swoop, kicking his way out of them along with his shoes. He could feel the longest chains dangling against his groin now, cool against the sensitive skin.

Zale’s eyes narrowed, scanning over Joseph’s bare body with a startling hunger. He made no move toward him, but he was tense, as if he might pounce at any second. “You look… divine.”

Joseph stepped into Zale’s arms, the chains softly jingling as he moved. He slid his hands up his chest and nuzzled at his cheek as he whispered, “Thank you.”

Zale’s lips brushed over Joseph’s, his breath cool as he murmured in reply, “The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.”

Joseph took one last look at those pretty blue eyes and let himself get lost in their awesome depths. They were the color of Arctic waters, frigid and endless, yet sparkling with a power that made Joseph’s knees so very weak.

He took a breath and kissed Zale.

He kissed him firmly, possessively, their bodies grinding back together like when they were dancing. He could feel the press of Zale’s bare skin, but never even saw him take off his clothes. There was his cock, right there, big and hard, nudging at his own as their hips collided.

Joseph thought perhaps he’d had too much to drink, but his mind was clear other than being flooded with amorous inclinations. He let himself be distracted by Zale’s tongue, and he sucked it deep into his mouth as they kissed.

His back was suddenly being pressed into the mattress, and he found himself in bed with Zale over top of him. Zale felt strong and warm, and Joseph moaned at the pressure building down in his loins from the friction of their hips.

The chains of diamonds were jingling, riding up on his chest as Zale’s hand slid between his legs. There was warmth, a wet and slick stretch inside of him, then more pressure as Zale’s cock fit itself there.

It was smooth and painless, Joseph’s body opening up effortlessly to let Zale inside. Zale’s cock was hot and thick, pushing Joseph to his limit in a single thrust and making him see stars with every one that followed after. It was all happening so fast and Joseph wanted more.

He moaned without care, amazed at how Zale already seemed to know his body so intimately. He knew where to touch, where to kiss, and the precise angle to move that would wrench the most shameful sounds from his lips.

It was divine. 

Zale rolled them over so Joseph was on top of him, reconnecting their bodies and guiding Joseph’s hips. Joseph adjusted to the new position with ease and began to ride him hard. The necklace was a shimmering mess of movement between them, the longest chains brushing Joseph’s cock.

He crazily wondered if he should care about the precome he was certainly leaking all over the fine jewelry, but Zale didn’t seem to mind so he ignored the thought.

Joseph lifted his arms up above his head, his thighs powering his movements as he took in the fantastic slew of sensations. Millions of dollars worth of diamonds draped over his body with the best dick he’d ever had making him ache in the sweetest way was pretty damn amazing.

Zale kept them moving, shifting Joseph onto his hands and knees now to take him from behind. His strong hands squeezed Joseph’s ass and grabbed his collar, forcing him back on his cock again and again. Joseph clawed at the sheets, crying out excitedly.

He could feel himself getting close, but damn if Zale wasn’t ready to finish yet. It seemed like he had every intention of going all night. He changed their positions again, now spreading Joseph on his back and lifting his long legs over his shoulders.

As Zale slid back into Joseph’s tight hole, Joseph had to frantically grab his dick and squeeze it hard to keep from busting on the spot. “Holy shit, Zale.”

“You’re incredible.” Zale kissed Joseph’s calf, adoring and sweet, rolling his hips slowly and letting each thrust drag.

“Me? Heh!” Joseph laughed breathlessly, his toes curling at a particularly pleasurable angle. “You feel so good. Mmm… I could do this forever.”

“Careful what you wish for,” Zale warned with a sly grin, leaning down to seek a passionate kiss.

Joseph wrapped his arms around Zale’s neck as his knees hit his shoulders. The tender thrusts couldn’t last long, but it was fantastic while they did. He’d never felt this connected to anyone, certain he would never know this level of passion in anyone else’s bed.

The end was coming for them both, and a few quick slams and the twist of Zale’s hand on his dick sent Joseph spiraling into bliss. Maybe it was the magic of the moment, but Joseph’s orgasm didn’t seem to end. It kept going for much longer than any climax he’d ever had, and he was left shaking from the rush. 

Wrecked and breathless, he smothered his cries in Zale’s lips. Zale came then, groaning low as his cock flooded Joseph’s hole with a hot load. Their bodies slid together, slick with perspiration, as they dragged the ecstasy on for as long as possible. The diamond chains pressed into Joseph’s skin, a unique sensation that only added to the growing pleasure. It was beautiful, perfect, and Joseph knew he was ruined for any other lover.

Zale seemed to know it too. He had the smuggest little smile on his face, kissing Joseph before pulling away to tidy up. He put the jewelry away, wiped them both down, and then slid back into bed beside him.

Joseph was somewhere up in the clouds, flushed and sore, smiling from ear to ear. The satisfaction of their tryst was resonating down in his bones, and he stretched with a loud grunt.

“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” Zale asked.

“Mmm, and then some,” Joseph promised. “This has been a freakin’ dream come true. Like, I’m afraid I’m going to wake up and find out my fairy godmother just pulled a fast one, you know?”

“I can assure you that fairies had nothing to do with this.” Zale laughed.

Joseph heard a clock chiming in the distance, realizing it had to be midnight by now. He grinned, rolling over to throw his arm over Zale. “Are you sure you’re not going to turn into a pumpkin?”

“Not quite,” Zale said softly, something strained in his expression. “Not a pumpkin anyway.”

Joseph frowned, about to ask what was wrong when the last bell chimed. His arm suddenly went through Zale’s torso as if he was nothing but air, his body shimmering all over like a poorly projected hologram.

The image adjusted itself as Joseph backed away, and he stared at Zale in horror. “Zale? What… what the fuck?”

“It’s the end of summer,” Zale replied, as if that somehow explained everything. “My vessel has been forfeited.”

“Huh?” Joseph bolted upright, shaking fingers reaching out to touch Zale again. Moments ago they had been in a passionate embrace and he’d been able to feel every inch of Zale’s beautiful body and taste him and smell him.

Now he was like a ghost.

Joseph’s hand passed through him like sliding through smoke. The image of Zale flickered as before, and Joseph was absolutely terrified.

“What’s happening?” Joseph demanded, fear freezing his voice and breaking it into stuttering fragments. “What… wh… what are you?”

“Brides are hard to come by these days,” Zale drawled in reply. “Modern times have forced me to entertain the world of internet courting.” He rose out of bed, a long black robe magically appearing to cover his body. “Every year I have to find a new one, you see.”

“A new what…?” Joseph squeaked.

“I need someone to help me collect the pieces,” Zale explained. “My vessel deteriorates every autumn equinox and must be renewed by spring or no new life can be given to the world. Death and rebirth, the most ancient cycle of the seasons, is tied directly to my flesh.”

Joseph was up on his feet and out of bed, frantically searching for his clothes as he laughed hysterically. “Oh! Right! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“It has been so for thousands of years.” Zale was pouring himself a glass of his color-shifting wine over by the desk, not paying any mind to Joseph’s obvious intent to flee. “And it will be so for thousands more.”

“Look, thanks for the date,” Joseph said as he got dressed at lightning speed. “I love the watch, dinner was cool, and I had a super great time! I’ll call you, okay?”

“You can’t leave.”

“See,” Joseph said with a click of his tongue, “now you’re just starting to sound a little nuts—”

“Not until spring arrives,” Zale cut in. “You have six months to complete my vessel and restore the seasons. Only then will you be able to leave my kingdom.”

“Your kingdom?” Joseph couldn’t take another word of this nonsense. He had been such a fool and he was sick to his stomach for thinking he could have something real with Zale.

He marched toward the door with a short huff. “You take care of yourself, Zale. Get some help.”

Zale made no move to go after him, sipping his drink patiently.

Joseph grabbed the knob and flung open the door, stopping right in his tracks. Instead of leading to the stairs, the door now opened up into a giant cave.

Mammoth and lit by an eerie blue glow, the cave went on as far as Joseph could see. There were people, certainly in the hundreds, with tools in their hands as they mined away at the rock around them. They were bound in chains, many of them wailing and crying, and every last one of them… 

No.

They were dead.

Their eyes were lifeless despite the agony of their howling, and Joseph could see right through their bodies. Some were more opaque than others, a few mere wisps of a human form, but all of them were spirits.

Joseph couldn’t believe what he was seeing, backing away and gasping when he smacked into Zale, who had come up right behind him. “What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, trying not to let his fear show through. “What the fuck are you? You’re not some imports dealer! This… this is… What the fuck is this?”

“Joseph,” Zale said, the faintest hint of sympathy in his expression. “Let me explain. I’m not really Zale Petropoulos, you see. I have many names that mankind has used over the millennia. Pluton, Osiris, Hades…”

“Hades,” Joseph echoed, staring at the gaggle of spirits before whirling back on Zale. “Hades, god of the Underworld? Hades, brother of Zeus? Hades and Persephone? That Hades?”

“Yes.”

Joseph laughed.

So much for a perfect first date.

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