New Stickers & Magnets Available!

Hello, my darlings! I have closed my Redbubble Shop and now all my swaggy goodies are available on my Etsy Shop! For now, this is limited to stickers and magnets, but I hope you guys check it out! Look at all the pretttttiesssss — including a new Sucker For Love design of Sloane and Loch by the incredible Beanyzilla and the Boss Cold and Jimmy design by Hardwiredweird! <3333

Check ’em out now!

Writing All The Things

13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 2: Available Now!

Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus: Preorder now! 02/28/2023

SFL #8: An Inkredible Love: Preorder now! 04/11/2023

~*~

Current Projects

13 Days of Secret Monster Project (Writing 8/13)

SFL #9: Love You Always, Suckers And All (Writing 2/15)

Secret Mafia Thing (Writing 9/10)

~*~

Future Projects 2023

Daddy Mafia Stuff

Gay Murder Lobsters

Cold’s Brother Thing

CHC #5

Mr. Heiss and William

Nighttime Dead Thing

Suckery Mystery Thing

Secret Card Thing

~*~

Ramblings/Drabbles/BLEGH

Happy February, darlings!

For all my Sucker For Love fans, both Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus and Inkredible Love are up for preorder! Ollie’s book will be coming 02/28/2023 so woo right around the corner and then Fred and Ell will be out 04/11/2023! EEE SO CLOSE TO THE END! LITERALLY ONE MORE BOOOK AHHHH! That I still have to write oops.

To the surprise of no one, I am behind where I wanted to be this month–but it’s okay! I have one more chapter to write for my secret mafia thing (which you’ve probably already guessed is my entry in the Elite series) and just a couple more shorts for my secret monster project. Once those are done, I can switch back and focus on Sloane and Loch with my full attention.

I may still dabble in the monster stories, but only because my brain can sort of multi-task short stories with novels, but never two novels at the same time. I tried to explain this in my last blog post, but I still have no idea if it makes any sense. xD

The point is that I should still be able to finish all THREE of these projects (Elite collab, Monsters, and SFL #9) by the end of March as originally planned so woooo! I can do eeeeet!

After that, I know I’d said I was gonna slide back into mafia land and that’s still technically my goal. I have a lot of mafia books to write this year, including more collab stuff, and I want to get all my neat magical collaby obligations out of the way as soon as possible. I had to haul ass last year to get everything submitted on time, and I do not wanna do that this yearrr.

So! Collabs are definitely the priority once I’m done with Loch and Sloane, and they should be of a mafia type flavor and… I’m just sort of repeating myself at this point. You get the idea. Elite, Monsters, Sloane and Loch, and then mafia land for a while to work on collabs and other fun stuff! Beyond that, we will just have to see what my brain does as usual.

It’s okay. Whatever happens will probably be a surprise to me too!

ALSO! Big update about merch and books — in the next few weeks, I am going to be pulling all my swag and book goodies to a store I am building here on my website. As of right now, my Redbubble store is closed. They found the artwork of Jimmy and Boss Cold “objectionable”, took it down with zero warning, and I have no way to appeal their decision. As RB is a site known to have extremely graphic sexual artwork, I was pretty shocked and very pissed off that my artwork was taken down over a naked butt. Was it because it was a naked man’s butt? Sitting in another man’s lap? Who knows!

But what I do know is I don’t like what appears to be an extremely hypocritical application of their precious community guidelines. I will only be able to sell magnets and stickers and other small goods for a while as I don’t have the resources to store large stock like shirts etc, but my designs weren’t exactly flying off the shelves so I’m not too worried about it. More annoyed that once again I have to worry about finding a safe place to sell my stuff because oops the chances of getting banned are apparently a risk even with a naked booty.

All my signed paperbacks, bookplates, and swag will be coming to this new store. For now, my Etsy store will remain open until I’m able to move over all the listings and figure out the shipping and taxes and all that. It is hectic, but I think I’m going to be happier having control over all my stuff in one freakin’ place instead of three different stores.

That is it for now, my darlings! I’ve gotta go write! As always, you can check me out over on Patreon to get sneak peeks on what I’m working on, get sexy bonus scenes and lots of extra smut, plussss if you join todayyy I will send you a Valentine’s Day card! Or a non-Valentine’s card if you don’t care for the holiday! XD

Thank you guys! Happy reading!

-Kat

New Preorder: SFL #8 An Inkredible Love!

Hello, my darlings! I am back again with ANOTHER preorder! Woooo! This is the story of Ell and Fred, and I am sooo freakin’ excited for this book! Like, OMG SO EXCITED because as some of you know… this was meant to be the third book! It’s been finished for like two freakin’ years and is by far the most romantic and sweeeet of the whole series. However, it was also very spoilery because of certain little things *coughcough* and so I ultimately rearranged the series so it is now #8! It does jump back in time a bit — remember that little ol’ three month jump at the end of Acsquidentally In Love before Robert and Lochlain get married? This book takes place during those three months!

It’s fluffy and sexy and eeee I cannot stress how sweet it is! Fred and Ell are one of my favorite couples ever, and I’m so happy to finally be sharing their story with you guys! You can preorder now and the book releases on April 11th, 2023! <333

It’s hard to have a love life when you don’t have a pulse.

All that changes for Fred Wilder when he meets Elliam Sturm a few weeks after Sloane Beaumont first becomes a Starkiller and kills a god.

As a ghoul, Fred Wilder needs very specialized medicine to combat his constantly rotting body. As a thief, Fred needs that body in good condition. Fortunately for him, Ell does the impossible: brings new life to Fred’s dead flesh.

Just being around Ell makes Fred feel alive for the first time since his untimely demise. He’s so charmed by Ell’s bright personality and shared love of obscure fantasy that he doesn’t think twice about the source of Ell’s power. But this is Archersville, so their blossoming romance is threatened by a dangerous painting that could awaken an ancient god who could destroy the world. Now the fate of billions hinges on Fred completing a daring heist.

But as Fred and Ell work together, the true depth of Ell’s power becomes impossible for Fred to ignore, and he’s forced to accept that perhaps the biggest mystery—and the biggest threat—has been with them all along….

PREORDER NOW

New Preorder: Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus!

Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus is now available for preorder! This is the one and only illustrated guide by yours truly and artwork by the fabulous John T. Fuller! I’m so freakin’ excited for you guys to check this out! It is the ultimate guide for the Sucker For Love universe but beware–there may be spoilersss! <333

This is the personal private property of Oleander Logue! This terrifically tentacular tome is full of my notes and sketches, and it tells all about the super secret stuff going on in Archersville! TOP SECRET! NO PEEKING! Unless you really want to. And say pretty please. Then it’s okay.

Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus is an exciting illustrated guide that details the magical world of the Sucker For Love Mysteries universe. Get to know the colorful members of the Super Secret Sages’ Club, treat yourself to a special Sagittarian horoscope reading from Ollie himself, or dive into the curious history of the ancient Sages and their numerous tentacled gods. This guide has everything from a comprehensive list of Sagittarian deities to never-before-published information about the Sages’ many rituals and holidays, plus multiple recipes for food and drinks featured throughout this unique series, There might even be a secret or two lurking between the pages… but the only way to find them is to start reading.

PREORDER NOW! COMING 02-28-2023!

Paperbacks for 13 Days: Vol #2!

PREORDERS for 13 Days of Monster F#cking Volume 1 and 2 are now live!

13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 1

13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 2

13 Days of Monster F#cking: Special Edition Bundle

The special edition bundle includes a sexy monster bath bomb and an exclusive monster fucker key chain! You can purchase either volume or both of them together, but these fun bundles will be limited to 30 and only apply to the new editions of the books! Volume 1 got a sexy makeover to match the interior of Volume 2, but you can still purchase discounted copies with the old interior plus a few misprints until they run out! Then they’re gone foreverrrrr! XD

Just a quick note re: future paperback copies! These will not be available to purchase anywhere else except my Etsy store from now on. Tl;dr Amazon, IngramSpark, and D2D have all smacked me down because of their freakin’ content guidelines. I have chosen to print them privately and distribute them myself through my Etsy to avoid having either title blocked. This will apply to any future titles in the 13 Days of Monster F#cking series. It’s obviously more expensive and that sucks, but I really have no other reliable options.

Of course I could fib cough cough and push the book through on certain websites as I have before, BUT there is still a big risk of not only getting the title blocked but losing the ability to print period because I can and will lose my account. To be clear, this is not about the monster fucking. This is about the non-con/dub-con that’s in the monster fucking. You can read fluffy and sweet sexy times with monsters in paperback with either 8 Days of Monstrous Pride or In Darkness And Dank right off Amazon, but if you want extra filthy physical books…

Well, this is it. 

And yes, I have already tried Blurb, Bookbaby, 48Hour Books, Lulu, etc. Please trust that I looked very hard to find a reputable and modestly priced printer who isn’t gonna eyeball the content of these books too hard so I can keep selling paperbacks. Again, these issues only apply to this particular series, so don’t worry. You can buy pretty much all my other books off Amazon, but oops these were just a lil’ too naughty. <333

Writing All The Things

13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 2: Available Now!

~*~

Current Projects

13 Days of Secret Monster Project (Writing 3/13)

SFL #9: Love You Always, Suckers And All (Writing 2/15)

Secret Mafia Thing (Writing 1/10)

Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus (Release date pending!)

SFL #8: An Inkredible Love (Release date pending!)

~*~

Future Projects 2023

Daddy Mafia Stuff

Gay Murder Lobsters

Cold’s Brother Thing

CHC #5

Mr. Heiss and William

Nighttime Dead Thing

Suckery Mystery Thing

Secret Card Thing

~*~

Ramblings/Drabbles/BLEGH

Happy New Year, darlings!

Yes, this is a week late but whew! I’ve been a busy lil’ Kat, and I have sooo much to share that I might just freakin’ pop. Okay, let’s get goin’! First up–it’s TETNACLES TIME! ARHEHHF

Right, so. Inkredible Love and Ollie’s Octrageously Official Omnibus are both done and just waiting for their sexy release dates. Omnibus should come out before Inkredible Love, and I will post all the preorder info as soon as I have it. I have started writing the last book and the outline is ready to rock, but as usual oops I got distracted by something else.

I have a very special secret Monsters project that I’m working on that should release this fall, and I cannot WAIT for you guys to read it. EEK! It’s gonna be extra special sexy and I’m sooo freakin’ EXCITED. I am also poking at 13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 3, but mostly from a gathering ideas/plotting position. I don’t thinkkk I’m going to write any of them yet, but we’ll see what my brain does.

Oh and of course don’t forget that 13 Days of Monster F#cking: Volume 2 is out on Smashwords! All my love to the incredible Mozzarus Scout for helping me write a bunch of these awesome stories. We’re working on the secret Monsters project together too and eee so far it is AWESOMEEEE. Whew okay what’s next

My priority right now is a super secret squirrel collab with strong mafia flavors that I cannot wait to freakin’ announce. Can’t say much more than that right now but I promise more info sooooon!

Once that mafia collab is done, I’m switching back to SFL #9 to finish that series once and for all. I AM SO CLOSE. I will probably work on the secret monsters too, but it’s a lot of easier for my brain to switch between a big WIP and small shorts than it is two big WIP’s at the same time. Plots. Things. Keeping track of what is going on in 8k/60k vs 60k/60k is just agh, much much more better for my brain to process.

Make sense? Yes? YAY! No? Well, I can’t help you because it barely makes sense to meeee! XD

My goal is to have these three projects done and ready to go by the end of March.

After that, I’m sliding back into mafia land for a mafia daddy collab and the final two Cold Hard Cash books. I have some special artwork and new designs coming too for Jimmy and Cold stickers and other goodies, and I’m just agh I really can’t wait to get this series done toooo. Tentatively, I should be working on those over the summer with a demon surprise, maybe a deadly nighttime thing, and something with tentacles to poke at during the fall. Whew. Okay. That’s it! NO MORE MY BRAIN SAYS NO. So cough cough that is my current writing plan as outlined above.

Gay Murder Lobsters, you say? Why yes, that’s on there too, and that is a very special surprise. <333

At this time, I will say that the Plot Bunny Hutch is staying locked. My priorities this year are finishing both the Sucker For Love and Cold Hard Cash series, and then writing my collabs as quickly as possible. Last year was a mess for me because I got very behind ’cause family blah blah blah real life sucks, and I don’t want to put myself in that position again.

This may also be the last year I take on so many collabs. I LOVE doing them, I love meeting and working with so many other awesome authors, and yes, it’s incredible that they’re so successful. But agh I still have so many of my own projects that I want to work on. That monster mafia idea is eating at me somethin’ hard right now, as is the zombie idea that I’ve been nibbling on and ahhhh toooo many boooks to writeeee xD XD XD

We don’t talk about Robots.

But yeah so! Whew! That’s what my 2023 is looking like. My goal is to knock these beautiful books out so I can have a relaxing holiday and try to brainstorm what new series I am going to tackle next. I really want to finally get at some of the ideas that have been hiding in my plot bunny hutch for years and ugh it’s so hard to choose. I’m between the new Sucker For Love series that would follow Alexander, Rota, and Ollie plus Stoker, the Monster Mafia series that will be dark and monstery, or the Zombie Apocalypse that will be, well, it will have zombies lol. That’s all I’m saying.

There’s more than that, of course, but that’s for future Kat to worry about. I’ve got a lottt more to do before I even get to that point, but I am excited to see what happens next! As always, you can check me out over on Patreon to get sneak peeks on what I’m writing, get sexy bonus scenes and lots of extra smut, and all sorts of fun stuff. Follow me on the socials. Do the thing. XD

Thank you all for your awesome support! I seriously could not do this without you guys and your love for my work. I’m hoping to make 2023 another kickass year, and I can’t wait to share these new stories with you all!

Happy reading!

-Kat

13 Days of Monster F#cking Vol 2 is LIVE!

Dive into thirteen unique tales inspired by two-sentence horror stories with more monstrously raunchy steam than ever, from ruthless demons to enigmatic gargoyles, wicked tentacle beasts, and some incredible nightmares that cross the line into reality.

-Camping in the great outdoors is a fun idea for an adventurous couple until the local cryptids decide to pay them a nightly visit.

-The fate of a man appears sealed when he’s buried alive, but he quickly discovers he has other things to worry about than running out of air.

-Working nights at the museum is peaceful, though it is strange that the new delivery is trying to escape its crate.

-A young man never goes to sleep, but he keeps waking up and nothing he sees is what it seems.

…And many more!

USE COUPON CODE TW99L FOR 25% OFF!

PURCHASE NOW!

Untouched Mussels: FREE DOWNLOAD

Happy New Year’s Eve Eve! XD

Untouched Mussels is now available to DOWNLOAD! WOO!

This is a 45k novella all about Jay and Asta from the Sucker For Love Mysteries! I have been babbling about writing their story forever and finally finished it! There’s smut, there’s some angst, and a very happy ending! While it is posted here on my website, you can now download it as a FREE ebook! Enjoy! <333

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE

Untouched Mussels: FREE Novella <3

Hello, my darlings! The longgg awaited mini-series for Jay and Asta is finally here! WOO! It will be available as a free e-book download as well, but it’s going to post here on my website first. I’ll let you know where and how to download it as soon as it’s available! NOW ON WITH THE SHOOOWWW!

Jay Tintenfisch and Asta the Asran Prince have had quite the exciting and steamy relationship goin’ on behind the scenes, and I’m so thrilled to finally bring you their story. We’re starting off right after the end of Head Over Tentacles when Jay leaves with Asta to go to Xenon so he can see Ted. From there, the timeline will bounce a bit over the next few months as things don’t exactly go according to plan for our little lovebirds. The epilogue will connect this mini-series to the ending of Inkredible Love so as to catch our guys up with the rest of the other characters.

Don’t worry! There will be zero spoilers because hey we already know there’s gonna be a big wedding for Grell and Ted ’cause Sloane and Loch got invited to it at the end of Insquidious Devotion. I would highly suggest you catch up with the whole series before diving into this, but I don’t think it’s required for enjoying it. Maybe. Uh. Mostly. Anyway!

I have been talking about writing this story for yEaRssss, and I am so glad I’ve finally finished it. There is hot smut, some light angst, and a very happy ending. I sincerely hope you all enjoy it. <333

Happy reading!

READ NOW

Untouched Mussels: Chapter 08

Chapter 8.


“Pumpernickel?” the gruff man scoffed. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a heavy but sweet rye bread, pretty tasty stuff, good for sandwiches,” Asta replied, smiling sweetly from where he was now standing behind the two men. “Oh! It’s also the magic word that summons me and makes you two assholes go poof.”

“What the–” The gruff man was not able to finish his sentence as he suddenly disappeared through a portal with a loud pop.

“Huh?” the other criminal stared stupidly. “Where, where did he go?”

“Don’t worry!” Asta patted the man’s shoulder. “You’re going there too!” He opened another portal and then kicked the man right in. 

The man screamed as he zoomed through, and Jay shuddered. He remained frozen against the side of his car, his chest heaving. “Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.”

He looked all around the parking lot in a panic, certain that someone had to have seen Asta portaling those two jerks away and was going to call the cops inside the store. Then again, no one had seen them trying to rob Jay, so perhaps people weren’t that observant.

Or, Jay thought grimly, they just didn’t care. 

Fortunately, no one was screaming for the police or trying to film them with a cell phone, so Jay allowed himself a relieved sigh.

Asta was wearing the same pajamas from this morning, and he reached for Jay. “Hey! Hey, are you okay?”

“I am. I’m okay. Just. Wow. That.” Jay shook his head. “I can’t fucking believe they did that. They, they tried to mug me, and, and, and–”

“Hey, let’s get you home, okay?”

“Aren’t you cold?” Jay noticed Asta was not wearing shoes.

“What? No, I got fur. You just can’t see it.” Asta smirked. “Two assholes just tried to shake you down and you’re worried about me?”

“Well… I… I just…” Jay surged forward to hug Asta tight, adrenaline still rushing through him and making his knees weak. 

The AVPD squad car was parked a few yards away, and those awful men hadn’t cared. They were bold enough to attack Jay knowing full well the police were right there, and Jay knew they could have killed him. It made him sick knowing they’d targeted him because he was Silenced, as there were numerous magical items in the world that could detect a person’s aura. 

They thought he’d be an easy mark, and there wouldn’t have been anything Jay could have done except bleed out if they’d wanted to hurt him. He would have ended up as an open case at the AVPD, another innocent victim of the city’s ongoing crisis.

But Asta had saved him.

Beautiful, wonderful, brave Asta.

“Can you please take me home?” Jay whispered urgently. 

“You got it, babycakes.” Asta held on tight and then whisked them away through a portal. 

They appeared in Jay’s bathroom, and the bathtub was already filling up with steaming hot water. 

“Bubble bath and that red wine you like coming right up,” Asta said as he rubbed Jay’s back soothingly. 

“Thank you.” Jay sighed. “God, those fucking assholes! This entire city has lost its damn mind! I… Fuck.” He clenched his teeth. “I was so fucking scared. I don’t think I even had time to feel it because it was happening so fast? And now I’m shaky and weird and angry–”

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay.” Asta kissed his brow. “You got your very own Asran prince on speed dial.”

“Thank you for coming so fast.”

“First time I think I’ve ever had a guy say that to me.” Asta winked slyly.

Jay couldn’t help but laugh. Even as stressed out as he was, Asta always seemed to know how to make him smile. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I know.” Asta smiled. “Now come on. Get naked and get yo’ butt in that tub. Relax. I’ll take care of everything.” 

“Thank you. You know, I was actually gonna cook dinner, and… oh! Shit! I left the groceries in the car.” 

“And they can stay in the car,” Asta fussed.

“Please.” Jay squeezed Asta’s hand. “I… I still really want to make dinner for us. I don’t wanna let some jerks ruin what I wanted to do.”

Asta nodded, and he nuzzled against Jay’s cheek. “All right, babycakes. Whatever you want.” He smirked. “But first get your fine ass in that tub.”

“Deal.” Jay smiled, and he leaned in for a soft kiss. 

Asta let the kiss linger for a long moment before he urged Jay to get into the tub. “Mmm, be right back.”

“Okay.” Jay watched Asta pop away through a portal, and he got undressed with a long sigh. His chest hurt as if he’d run a marathon, though he couldn’t be exactly sure since he’d hadn’t ever run a marathon and likely never would.

Still, the tight pressure currently squeezing on his ribs was what he imagined the result of terrible extraneous physical activity would be, and he didn’t like it. He eased himself into the tub, hissing as the hot water surrounded him. He sank down as far as he could, though he had to bend his knees to submerge his upper half.

Another pop signaled Asta’s return, and he kneeled beside the tub with a warm smile and a glass of wine in hand. “Hey. How we doin’?”

“We’re doing okay.” Jay smiled back. “Though I recall someone promising bubbles.”

“Pffft. Too easy.” Asta winked.

Not only was the tub overflowing with bubbles, but it was now twice the size it had once been.

“What the…?” Jay laughed. “How did you do that? How, how does it even fit inside this tiny bathroom?”

“Magic and a lot of willpower.” Asta smirked as he offered Jay the glass of wine.

Jay took the glass with a shake of his head, sitting up now that he could stretch out his legs. “You really are amazing.”

“So are you, you know.” Asta playfully flicked some of the bubbles. “How ya’ feelin’, babycakes?”

“Good. Better now that you’re here.” Jay took a small sip. “Where did you send those jerks anyway?”

“One of the perks of being a prince is having your very own dungeon. Don’t worry about them. I’ll sort them out later.” Asta ran his fingers through Jay’s hair. 

“The city’s really gone crazy.” Jay took a much bigger sip. 

“Yeah, well. Seeing an old god go marching down the street and then beat on a few buildings will do that, I guess.” 

“I feel like it’s gonna get worse before it gets better.” 

“I feel like you should take a mini vacay and come ride out the crazy with me in Xenon.” 

“Asta,” Jay scolded. “I can’t just leave work like that. I’ve already run up all my PTO and—”

“It’s so cute when you use words I don’t know.” 

“We should be taking things slow anyway. I don’t think shacking up again so soon is such a good idea.” 

“I would totally leave you alone,” Asta insisted. “You could go hang out with Cat Kicker and see Graham’s new freaky weird stuffie cat body. It’s like Chucky, but a cat.” 

“I’ll think about it.” Jay chuckled. 

“Him and my dad are busy planning the wedding, you know.” Asta rested his chin on the edge of the tub. “You could be my date, you know. Since we’re dating.” 

“Is that what we’re doing? Dating?” 

“I… I think so.” Asta’s smile was shy now. “Since I am madly in love with you, I think you being my boyfriend is the next logical thing, right?” 

Jay’s heart fluttered. “Yeah, I, I think it is.” 

Asta beamed. “Good. So, uh what’s after that?” 

“Well.” Jay tipped his wine glass back, finishing off what was left. “I think you need to get me more wine, and—” The glass refilled instantly. “Oh. Thank you. And now you need to get in here with me.” 

“Done and done, babycakes.” Asta was naked in a blink. “Scootch forward, I’m comin’ in!” 

Jay laughed at how eagerly Asta climbed into the tub behind him. Asta’s arms hugged Jay’s middle, and his legs stretched out on either side of Jay’s. Jay settled back against Asta’s chest and promptly melted. 

It was perfect. 

“I’ve never taken a bath with anyone before,” Jay said quietly. “I guess there’s a lot I haven’t done.” 

“That’s all right. I’m happy to claim any and all firsts I can.” Asta kissed Jay’s shoulder. 

“Like server firsts, huh?” 

“Nah. These… these are special.” Asta hugged him. 

Jay set his wine on the edge of the tub so he could drape his arms over Asta’s. He was warm, comfortable, and the tightness in his chest was fading away. He closed his eyes, surprised at how easy it would have been to drift off. 

Except he was getting hungry.

“Mm, I want to make dinner.” Jay blinked open his eyes. “I need to get out.”

“Hey, easy now. We will,” Asta soothed. “Also, I saw you didn’t get any garlic bread, so I took the liberty of procuring some from that grocery store. Those cops were pissed.” 

“Asta!”

“One of the clerks said something real crazy too. He was screaming about how first it was their tree and now garlic bread.” Asta made a face. “Now that I think about it, I think that guy thought I was Azaethoth.” 

Jay laughed. “Yeah, that night I woke up. Didn’t Azaethoth steal a big palm tree or something?”

“Something.” Asta shrugged. “I’m more concerned with how anyone could confuse me for him.” 

“Don’t worry. I know how to tell you apart.” 

“Yeah?”

“You’re the cute one.” 

“That’s right. That’s what I like to hear.” Asta snickered, nuzzling sweetly against the side of Jay’s neck. “Stroke my ego, baby.”

Jay chuckled. “Mmm, I will. And stroke some other things too. And, uh, do some other things.” 

“We’ll do whatever you want.” Asta rubbed their feet together. “There’s still no rush. Not for anything, okay?”

“I’ll, uh, get back to you on dessert after dinner. How’s that?”

“Sounds good. As long as I’m eating, I’m happy.” 

Jay decided not to explore the obvious innuendo in that statement, content for now to cuddle with Asta in the tub. He liked the intimacy of this, how good it felt to be held, and he had a bit of a buzz by the time he finished the second glass of wine. The ache in his chest was now totally gone, as was the old thud he’d been carrying around in his heart for months.

He was happy. 

He knew it wasn’t perfect, not yet, but it was pretty damn close.

The grumble of Jay’s stomach meant it was time to finally leave the tub and make dinner, and Jay let Asta help him out. Asta fussed over Jay with a towel, choosing to dry him off by hand instead of using magic. Jay loved the attention and all the sweet kisses that came with it.

The matching pajamas covered in little cartoon wizards that Asta gave them to wear were also very comfortable. 

Asta perched on the kitchen counter while Jay pulled the ingredients he needed out of the fridge and pantry. Asta busied himself by summoning more wine, including a glass for himself to sip on while he watched. 

Jay cooked a simple sauce and left it to simmer while he boiled the pasta. He had to swat Asta away from the garlic bread so he could get it in the oven, and then all that was left to do was wait for the timer to go off. 

Asta chugged his wine and then leapt from the counter, practically tackling Jay.

“What in the world?” Jay laughed. “What are you doing?”

“I am going to dance with you.” Asta wrapped an arm around Jay’s waist. “Hurry up and drink your wine.”

“Dance? What? Right now?” Jay laughed again, but he raised his glass up.

“Yes, right now.” Asta smirked. “Why not?”

“There’s no music.”

“Ahem.”

“As Long as You Love Me” by the Backstreet Boys started playing, and Jay laughed.

“Come on,” Asta urged. “We only have three minutes and forty seconds.”

“Mm, I’m comin’!” Jay paused to finish off the last sip of his wine so he could put the glass on the counter. He put his arm on Asta’s shoulder and took his hand, hoping this was the right position for dancing. He honestly had no idea.

If he was wrong, Asta didn’t correct him. He held him just like that, and he hummed along with the song as he led Jay around the kitchen in a lazy circle.

“Of course you’re leading,” Jay teased.

“Duh. Prince.” Asta winked playfully. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched, letting out a very contented sigh. “I really did miss you… and when you called me earlier? I… I was scared out of my fuckin’ mind. I knew somethin’ was wrong, and… I’m just trying to say that I’m really, really fuckin’ glad you’re okay.”

Jay’s heart thumped, and he squeezed Asta’s hand. “Thank you. For coming to my rescue. For being brave and thoughtful and everything else. I… I’ve never really had a lot of people I can depend on, but I knew you’d come. I knew it.”

Asta kissed his cheek. “Always, babycakes.”

As if on cue, the timer dinged.

Jay knew he needed to go get the food, but he couldn’t resist leaning up for a kiss. He didn’t mean for the kiss to get quite so hot, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how Asta had totally kicked those would-be muggers’ asses and wow, it was actually kinda sexy to see Asta in action like that. 

Great. Now Jay was horny.

Asta kissed back with equal passion, but he mumbled, “Mmm, don’t start nothin’ you can’t finish right now.”

“Mmph. Yup. Food. Food first.”

“Uh-huh, but okay, hear me out. Counter offer.” Asta mouthed down Jay’s jaw. “We get the food out, but it’s gotta cool down, right? So, we go to bed while the food cools down, and–”

“Let’s go.” Jay zoomed back into the kitchen to take out the garlic bread so fast that it was comical. 

Asta had the pasta strained with a snap of his fingers, and he immediately rushed into Jay’s arms to reignite their kiss. He was clearly as turned on as Jay was, rutting his hips forward and dragging his nails through Jay’s hair. 

Jay fumbled his way over to the bedroom, still trying to keep the kiss going and avoid furniture. He gasped when Asta magically transported them into his bed. “Uh, impatient?”

“Uh, have you met me?” Asta grinned and stretched out on his back, pulling Jay on top of him. “Impatient is my middle fuckin’ name!” 

“No, it’s not.” Jay laughed. “It’s desu Crem Dianah Kane Bavar–”

“Shut up and make out with me, you sexy motherfucker.”

The kiss turned to boiling fast, and any concern Jay had for the pasta getting sticky or the sauce burning was annihilated in the wake of his lust. Asta was pawing at his clothes and Jay at his, and everything peeled away until there was nothing left between them.

The connection of bare skin made Jay shiver, and his cock was achingly hard. He had so many strong emotions and nowhere to put them except to kiss Asta harder, wanting something he couldn’t define. Between reuniting with Asta and almost being mugged, it had been a hell of a day, and he wanted to keep chasing this wonderful feeling that was brewing right now.

It was hot, fleeting, but wonderful when he tasted it there on Asta’s tongue.

Jay’s hips shifted as he turned his head to take the kiss deeper, and his cock slipped between Asta’s legs. He flinched away when he realized it was pressing right there in a very specific area, namely Asta’s asshole, and he mumbled, “Sorry, I…”

“It’s okay.” Asta spread his legs, arching up to urge Jay to keep going.

Jay groaned as his cock rubbed against Asta’s warm tender skin, and he swore he was about to slide right inside of him. The desire to keep pushing into that inviting heat was staggering, and it would be so easy to thrust forward just a few inches and…

Fuck.

Was this it? Were they finally going to do it? Right now?

Asta’s firm hand on Jay’s ass definitely seemed to be encouraging it, but Jay’s nerves got the better of him. He didn’t know what to do. Well, he understood the basic concept of what went where, but he was so completely out of his element that he froze up on the spot.

“Jay?” Asta nuzzled his cheek. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Jay stared at Asta with wide eyes. He couldn’t catch his breath, and he felt a little dizzy. “Wait, wait… do you…? Do you want me to…?”

“Want you to dick me down in the worst fuckin’ way? Yeah.” Asta flashed a toothy smile. “I really do. But only if you’re ready, babycakes.”

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Jay glanced away, grimacing as his erection wilted. His anxiety was out of control now, and he didn’t want his first time to be a disaster–

“Hey. Hey, you. Yes, you. Come here. Look at me.” Asta gently coaxed Jay to meet his eyes again. He smiled warmly and pressed a soft kiss to Jay’s lips as he whispered, “I love you. I will love you for fuckin’ ever, and if you wanna wait to be all up inside me? Then we wait. As long as I’m with you, that’s all I fuckin’ care about.”

Jay’s heart soared, and his cock throbbed. 

Asta had said it. He’d said he loved Jay, and somehow that was all Jay needed.

“I love you.” Jay’s heart was ready to burst, and he smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. “I love you so much.”

“Does that mean you’re stickin’ it in me or are we waiting? Because I’m so down either way, but–”

“No,” Jay said firmly. “I’m not just going to stick it in you.” He held his head high, knowing full well what he was about to say sounded corny, but he didn’t care. “I am going to make love to you. All night long and into the morning. Maybe even all day tomorrow too. I want you. Right now.”

“Jay,” Asta murmured, his lashes fluttering as he gazed adoringly up at Jay. He hugged Jay’s neck, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m yours, baby. I’m all fuckin’ yours.”

Jay kissed him, summoning his courage as he reached down to guide his cock. His fingers were trembling, and he was panting frantically, letting Asta’s passionate kisses urge him onward. The head of his dick was right there, pushing up against Asta’s hole, and he–“Wait, wait.”

“What is it, baby?” Asta scratched Jay’s scalp gently. “What’s the matter?”

“Don’t we need to… you know.” Jay sighed. “Get you ready.”

“Magical asshole, baby. I’ve been ready for you since I met you.”

Jay wrinkled his nose.

“You know, not literally.” Asta grinned. “It’s okay, baby. You’re not gonna hurt me. We’ll go slow, okay? Nice and easy.” 

“Y-Yeah. Nice and easy.” Jay took a deep breath. “I love you.”

Asta’s hand joined Jay’s on his cock, and he slowly pushed the head of his cock in. “Mmm, I love you too.”

Jay had every opportunity to pull back, but he didn’t want to. This was it. He was going to do it. The second he felt that tight, wet heat hugging his dick, he moaned helplessly, and he wanted more. “I love you. Fuck. I love you, I love you,” he babbled. “F-Fuck, Asta, I love you so much.”

“Breathe,” Asta soothed, his voice trembling as Jay pushed deeper. “There you go, ah, mm, baby… ah, gods!”

Jay was worried he’d gone too fast and tried to withdraw. “Sorry, I’m sorry!”

“No, don’t you dare!” Asta grabbed Jay’s ass with both hands and pulled him back. “Mmm, keep going. Come on, baby.” 

Jay rolled his hips forward and his cock pushed in deeper. The hot friction was explosive and positively electric, and he groaned low, totally unprepared for just how good it felt. He stared at Asta, enraptured by his blissed out expression and the way his chest heaved as Jay continued to thrust.

“Asta.” Jay whimpered when his cock was fully sheathed inside of Asta, and his balls swelled with the urge to blow. He froze, trying to catch his breath and fighting back the intense pressure. He kissed Asta as his pulse pounded where their bodies were so intimately connected, and he whispered, “You feel so good… oh, baby. You feel so fucking good.”

“So do you,” Asta mewled as his hand fanned over Jay’s back. “By all the gods… I’m so fuckin’ full.” He sighed contentedly, smiling wide. “You can move, you know. That’s allowed.”

“I… I might come,” Jay confessed bashfully. “I’m, like, right there already. I’m so sorry–”

“Then come, babycakes.” Asta’s eyes flickered, and he ground his ass down on Jay’s cock. “Come for me. Give it to me. Trust me. Mmm, I’ll make sure you’re coming all night.”

Jay gasped, the sudden friction giving way to a burst of pleasure that made him ache inside. He thrust awkwardly as he chased more of that fantastic feeling, and he wrapped himself all around Asta. He knew it wouldn’t last long, not with how Asta was moving with him and squeezing down on his dick, but Jay wanted to try.

He ducked his head against Asta’s throat, breathing in his scent and mouthing over his skin. He had his arms underneath him, and his hands found a grip on Asta’s shoulders to pull him into his thrusts. Jay was finding a steady rhythm now, listening to Asta’s delicious moans and figuring out what he seemed to like the most. 

Once he’d honed in on the most pleasurable angle, Jay slammed as hard as he could, pounding into Asta’s tight body with everything he had. He wasn’t thinking clearly, functioning alone on pure instinct, but he knew he wanted to make Asta come. 

Asta was way ahead of him, his hands now pumping his cocks between their writhing bodies. He moaned wantonly, rocking his hips down to collide with Jay’s frantic slams. “There, there you go! Fuck, yes! Come on, baby. Mmm, gods yes. Harder. Fuckin’ harder! Yes, like that, just like that! Mm, you’re gonna fuck the come right of me!”

Jay surrendered to the overwhelming bliss, his voice cracking as he groaned, “Asta… Gods, I’m coming, I’m–!” His orgasm crashed into him like a freight train, and his pulse pounded as all the blood in his body zoomed to his loins to power his climax. He could feel his come pulsing deep inside of Asta’s body, and it was so intense that Jay’s eyes watered.

He kept thrusting to make the feeling last, and he watched Asta’s face scrunch and his lips part with a deep moan as he came. Asta’s hole was clenching so tightly around Jay’s dick that it almost hurt, and Jay didn’t stop fucking him, trying to ensure that Asta’s bliss matched his own.

“Jay, baby, oh fuckin’ baby, yes!” Asta curled his body off the bed as he pushed down to grind on Jay’s cock, still in the throes of his climax. “Yes, fuck!” 

Jay shuddered, lost in the whirlwind of pleasure as he continued to pump his cock into Asta’s slick hole. It was slippery now with his come, and he loved the aching zings as he approached his body’s limit. He swore the rhythmic squeeze of Asta’s body was drawing his cock in farther, and he felt buzzed in a way he couldn’t explain.

His chest was light and fluttery, his stomach was bubbly like he’d just ridden a roller coaster. His muscles were full of static, and he was certain the temperature inside his bedroom had risen at least a thousand degrees. He smiled down at Asta, taking in his flushed cheeks and glassy eyes, and he had to kiss him.

The kiss was slow, sweet, and Jay cupped Asta’s cheek to take the kiss deeper. 

He’d done it.

Jay had made love to his boyfriend for the very first time.

And wow, it had been beyond anything Jay could have ever imagined.

His cock was heavy and sensitive, but he didn’t want to pull out yet. He wanted to stay as close to Asta as he could, and he hugged him tight. “Asta… baby. That… That was…”

“Fuckin’ awesome,” Asta finished for him with a dramatic moan. “Are you sure that was your first time? Because fuckin’ me-owww.” 

Jay grinned, and he snuggled in close. Asta’s legs squeezed his hips, and he kissed the tip of Asta’s nose. “Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You were amazing,” Asta promised sincerely. “It was… Well, shit.” He laughed. “It was about the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Jay snorted. “Now I know you’re just saying that.”

“No.” Asta beamed. “It was the fuckin’ best because it was the first time it meant something.” He kissed Jay sweetly. “Mm, also worth mentioning, who the hell knew you could fuck like that?”

Jay barked out a loud laugh, and he blushed. “I, I’m sorry it was kinda quick.”

“It’s okay.” Asta wiggled his nose. “Oh, hey. Look at that. You’re ready to go again.”

Jay blinked, surprised to feel his cock was indeed swelling back to full hardness. The ache of overstimulation was fading as well, and he groaned as he tentatively slid out and back into Asta’s hole. “W-Wow.” 

“Uh-huh.” Asta wagged his eyebrows. 

“I, uh, take it that means you want to go again?”

“You’re  damn right I do.” Asta dragged Jay back in for another kiss, licking into his mouth and slapping a hand down on his ass.

Jay yelped at the smack, but he started rolling his again, thrusting his cock in deep, steady strokes. Though the feverish pace before had been fun, he wanted to take his time now. 

He explored Asta’s body, bracing himself on his elbow so his other hand could travel along Asta’s side. He caressed his hips, squeezing there as he thrust and loving how Asta groaned. He rubbed Asta’s thigh, and he gasped as Asta lifted his leg up higher in reply. 

It made Asta feel tighter, and Jay tried to resist the urge to slam harder. 

“Mmm, come here.” Asta hooked his leg over Jay’s shoulder, practically folding himself in half as he stretched his arms over his head. 

“F-Fuck.” Jay gawked at the splendid vision of Asta contorted beneath him, and he grinned stupidly. “By all the gods, you’re fuckin’ beautiful.”

“I know.” Asta winked. “Now show me, babycakes.” 

Jay adjusted to the new position, and then tentatively pushed forward. 

Oh, that was nice.

He leaned back as he thrust, reaching now for his headboard to brace himself. He loved the velvety slide of his cock entering Asta’s body, and it was so easy to get lost in. It was a mix of heat, pressure, and explosions of incomparable pleasure. There were these magical moments when their eyes would meet just as Jay pushed in all the way, and he would swear their souls touched. 

Asta was not content to simply lay there and let Jay take charge, however. It didn’t take long before he was squirming to get on top of Jay, playfully pinning him on his back and straddling his hips with a ravenous grin.

“Was, was I not doing it right?” Jay asked worriedly.

“Oh, you were doing it fuckin’ great,” Asta assured him, “but I really wanna ride your dick, babycakes.” He guided Jay’s hands to his hips as he sank back down on Jay’s cock, letting out a happy mewl of delight. “F-Fuck, you feel so fuckin’ good. Mmm, I think there is some magic in you.”

“Let me guess. It’s in my dick?” Jay laughed.

“Definitely in your dick.” Asta winked as he started to move, rolling his hips in slow circles.

Jay took a deep breath, watching Asta’s lean stomach flex as he ground down on his cock. The tight heat was amazing, and the sweltering pressure building around the head of his dick as Asta rode him made Jay’s toes curl in the sheets. 

He had no idea what to do with his hands at first, and simply holding Asta’s hips was awkward. He went for his thighs next, feeling Asta’s strong muscles tensing as he continued to fuck himself on Jay’s dick. He soon found that his favorite thing to watch was Asta’s face–the little twitches of his lips, the way his lashes would flutter just so, and the flash of his sharp teeth when he moaned loud.

Asta went faster and faster before he’d slow down to a taunting crawl, only to ride Jay hard again. Jay figured out he could thrust up into Asta, timing it just right so he was arching into him right as Asta was pushing down. The resulting collision was mind-shatteringly good, and Jay moaned alongside Asta as they moved together to create that devastating pleasure over and over again. 

“Asta,” Jay warned, “I’m-I’m getting really close.”

“Me too.” Asta was speeding up again with no signs of slowing down this time. “Please, mmm, grab my dicks, baby. Come on.”

Jay immediately reached for Asta’s cocks, taking one in each hand and jerking him off. He dug his heels into the bed to give himself more leverage as he fucked up into Asta, shuddering at the passionate way Asta started crying out. He loved how sexy he sounded, and he urged him on. “Come on, baby. Come on. Almost, fuck, almost there!”

Asta threw his head back with a loud sob, and his cocks simultaneously pulsed thick loads across Jay’s stomach. His body squeezed down on Jay’s dick as he frantically rode him, teetering forward to catch himself on Jay’s chest. “F-Fuck! Yes!” 

“Oh, mm, fuck! Asta!” Jay hugged him close, smothering kisses along his throat as he tried to keep pounding into him. The ferocious grind of Asta’s ass was intoxicating in these intense moments, and Jay surrendered another climax with a sharp gasp. As their bodies pressed flush, Jay did truly feel they’d become one being, and he whimpered as their lips crashed together in a fierce kiss.

The steady throb of Asta’s hole hugging his cock was intense, and Jay’s own pulse thumped there in time as he slowly emerged from the fog of his orgasm. He felt heavy, tired, and he rubbed Asta’s back, trying to soothe an unexpected tremble.

“Asta? Are you okay?” Jay murmured.

“I’m great.” Asta’s voice cracked, and his eyes were damp. “I’m so fuckin’ great.” 

Jay was shocked to see Asta so vulnerable, and it was humbling to know he was the cause. He massaged Asta’s back with steady caresses, and he kissed his cheek. He was dying to ask if it had really been okay, but he didn’t want to spoil such a sweet moment with his insecurities.

As if somehow sensing his worries, Asta said, “That was fuckin’ perfect, babycakes.” He kissed his lips softly. “Fuckin’ perfect.” 

“Yeah?” Jay grinned.

“Yup.” Asta grunted as he rolled off Jay, flopping down beside him. He draped his arm over Jay’s chest as he buried his head into the crook of his shoulder, stretching his legs out. “I mean, we’re gonna need to do it a bunch more to be totally sure, but yeah, pretty damn perfect.”

Jay chuckled, sliding his arm around Asta’s shoulder to hold him close. “I think that can totally be arranged because, yeah, wow, I… I don’t even have the words. It was amazing.” He kissed Asta’s brow. “I’m really glad I waited.” 

“Worth it.” Asta hooked his leg over Jay’s and snuggled in tight. “I love you, Jay.”

“I love you too, Asta.” Jay smiled. 

Asta peeked up at him. “So, technically, we do have a raid we could go join…”

“Or?” 

“Or we could keep fucking all night like tweaked out bunnies on prom night.” 

Making love, like tweaked out bunnies.” 

“Okay, look. The first time we did it was a nice mix of making love with some light fucking. Then we had some more making love and I rode your cock in a very making love manner.” Asta grinned slyly. “Next time? We are totally fucking.” 

“I, uh…” Jay licked his lips, a new surge of heat already brewing in his loins. “I think I can handle that.”

Asta yawned suddenly. “Mmm, after a word from our sponsors. And a snack.” 

“A break? We still haven’t eaten the dinner I made.” Jay chuckled. “A break sounds good though.” 

“But only a quick one, babycakes. Eat fast. Because then we’re fuckin’.”

“You got it.” 

Jay closed his eyes, using this moment to take stock of the many new sensations he was experiencing. 

His hips and back were twinging in unusual places, probably from flexing in ways they hadn’t before tonight. His mind was a stream of erotic images of his favorite moments from being with Asta, and flashes of Asta’s many beautiful blissed out expressions rolled through his head like a slideshow. His cock felt sort of weird now, cold and a little sore, but the warm glow washing over him in heady waves was epic. 

He’d done it. He’d made love to the man he adored more than anything in the world, and…

Wow.

For the very time in his life, Jay really did feel magical.

<– PREV | THE END…? –>