COVER REVEAL: Werewolves Hate Clogs

It’s hereeee it’s here it’s hereeee! My beautiful gorgeous amazing custom papercraft cover by Christina Record of Itsy Bitsy Scissors for Werewolves Hate Clogs is HERE! Shoutout to my very dear friend Amanda Meuwissen for making my titlesss! OMG BUT LOOK AT IT! ISNT IT GORGEOUSSSS AHHHH I am so excited now to get this book out into the world and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Othniel “Neil” Ricci has a sweet new gig working at his uncle’s flower shop—good hourly pay, free room and board, and he has absolutely no idea that the city is apparently infested with monsters.

That is, until he does.

Louis Morénas-Mostro is a werewolf and an underboss in the monstrous crime family who rule over everything that goes bump in the night. When a prized magical artifact becomes inadvertently attached to Neil, Lou is determined to get it back at any cost.

…Even pretending to date him.

Neil finds himself at odds with an entire monster family, their rebellious enemies, and his own growing attraction to Lou. He hopes he lives long enough to find out if their explosive chemistry can lead to something real, but first he has to make sure he doesn’t end up as monster kibble.

PREORDER NOW

Tastes Like Christmas is LIVE!

It’s Christmas in May! Tastes Like Christmas is here! WOO!

Now available in both ebook and adorable pocket paperback form, it’s my 13k horror holiday novella about a town real obsessed with Christmas and three thieves trying to make it out before they end up on the menu! Beware of cannibalism, really bad jokes, and smut. xD

Egor Soska and his gang of thieves stumble onto the quaint mountain town of Hollytown to lay low after a big score…

But the local obsession with Christmas perfection and holiday themed tropes may turn deadly if they don’t follow the right storyline.

PURCHASE NOW

Playing For Keeps is LIVE!

Uhhh, surprise happy release day to me! xD xD xD

Yes, this was set for the 15th, but it magically released today! Either I goofed or Zon goofed, but we’re just gonna go with it!

The ebook is LIVE and available to read in KU, and the adorable pocket paperback will be out soon as well! This 15k BDSM novella is spicy and sweet with high heat and lots of toysss! Yes, I mean those kind of toys. Yes, the other kind too, but mostly the sexy time kind. xD

PURCHASE HERE!

Mateo Delgado never does anything without a plan.

A natural gift for numbers and organization allowed him to build a successful custom leather business, but his busy schedule has left him poor in the romance department.

When he finds himself in need of a man with unique skills to help a loyal customer, does he opt for a more experienced candidate or risk his success on the apparent amateur who his sister is mysteriously pushing him to meet?

LFM: Werewolves Hate Clogs – Chapter 1.

Here we go, my darlings! As promised, you’re getting a sexy shiny exclusive teaser for La Famiglia Mostro: Werewolves Hate Clogs! The book will be releasing 6/23/23, but you can read the first three chapters here on my blog for freeeee! Happy reading!

(Also, keep in mind that this hasn’t been edited and it’s not the final manuscript blah blah blah. Just ignore any and all typos pretty please thankssss xD)

~*~

Chapter 1.

Neil Ricci had imagined many different futures for himself over the years, but not a one ever included working at a flower shop.

He’d wanted to be an astronaut when he was a little boy. Later, his dream was to be a professional chef or a break dancer, or break dancer who also cooked while dancing. His adult aspirations were far more grounded and ranged from an accountant to a financier because they always dressed so well.

Unfortunately, a future working with money required a lot of math, and Neil struggled miserably with his classes. After failing two, he’d decided to take the summer off and reevaluate his plans.

He needed a job, a place to stay, and he was surprised when his uncle, Shiloh Ricci, offered him a unique opportunity for both working at his flower shop. His uncle had always been a bit of an eccentric, disappearing for months at a time while he traveled all over the world, and he needed someone to watch the shop for him during his next big adventure.

The offer of good pay plus free room and board was too good to pass up.

The flower shop was a large three story brick building located in the heart of downtown Somerstown, a populous city with a crowded skyline. The city had held onto its greenery in the face of progress and boasted several lush parks, massive oak trees on practically every corner, and was known for its annual festival celebrating its many colorful azalea bushes blooming. 

The flower shop had three award-winning azalea bushes flanking either side of the front door. The first floor was the actual store proper, including a lavish greenhouse that was impossibly bigger inside than it looked to be from the outside. The second floor was a spacious two bedroom apartment where Neil was staying, and the third floor was rented out as office space that tenants accessed via a service elevator in the back of the building.

The awnings hanging over the door and windows were the same bracing shade of pink as the prized azaleas, one of many examples of nauseatingly bright colors clashing with the dark rustic state of the building. His uncle had insisted on using big pops of color everywhere, and the counter and moldings inside the shop had also been painted hot pink. The frames of the menu and bulletin board up behind the counter were a shocking shade of lime green, the wooden floors were stained neon blue, and it was all enough to give Neil a headache if he stared for too long.

At least there weren’t any crazy colors upstairs.

His uncle had stayed around for a few days to teach Neil the basics, and it was laughably easy. Neil’s responsibilities included running the register, watering the plants in the greenhouse, and answering the phone and taking new orders. He didn’t actually have to make or stock any of the arrangements.

The cooler and the displays in the shop were always freshly stocked when Neil came in to open the shop for the day. His uncle explained that the delivery drivers and florists worked very early hours, so Neil should never be surprised when the flowers were there before he even woke up.

Neil didn’t think much of it.

After all, he’d never worked in a flower shop before, and he assumed that’s how it was done. He took the orders, wrote out the delivery schedule, left the orders on the counter in a little box, and everything just sort of… happened?

Okay, yes, it was a bit strange.

He never saw anyone else, even during the evenings when he stayed up a bit too late reading or playing on his phone. He didn’t hear a truck, the doors opening—not a peep. By contrast, he heard the people renting out the floor above him stomping around all the time, sometimes as late as two o’clock in the morning.

Yes, it was all very strange, but this was the best job he’d ever had.

He wasn’t about to question it.

Neil had never made money like this before in his life and he was able to save more than ever thanks to not having to stress about rent or utilities. The hours were long, which didn’t leave much time for socializing, but he was perfectly happy to spend the rest of his summer here. He was enjoying getting to know the regular customers, especially the ones on what he called the List.

These were the customers who had been getting flowers from the shop for years, and they all had standing orders every week like clockwork. Many of them didn’t want their arrangements delivered, instead choosing to pick them up in person.

Miss Loy got a dozen yellow roses for her weekly date night with her partner of forty-two years, Mr. Powell ordered big bundles of fresh herbs because he loved to cook, Mrs. R.L. Charles always got dahlias for the graves of her three deceased husbands, and so on.

There was one, however, he knew only by the name written on a sticky note stuck to a planter in the greenhouse.

L. Morénas-Mostro had a night-blooming cereus on order, a thick climbing cactus that hung in a nondescript planter near the doorway. Neil didn’t know much about plants, but he knew he’d never seen that damn thing bloom at night or any other time. It didn’t look like much, especially compared to the other fantastic plants inside the greenhouse, and Neil wondered if it had some sort of special significance.

He knew certain plants symbolized love, protection, and so on, but he wasn’t sure what a dried up cactus might mean.

Persistence?

Determination?

Whatever.

Neil opened the shop like it was any other day. He was tired since he’d stayed up too late because he needed to know what kind of cartoon animal he’d look like from a popular social media app—a big raccoon apparently, which was not that far from reality—and he was dragging.

He’d almost forgotten to change his shirt and barely got a comb through his hair, and it was lucky he only had to walk downstairs to get to work. He’d checked himself out in the bathroom mirror to make sure he wasn’t entirely horrific, and he tried to appraise his sleepy reflection. 

Tousled black hair, washed out tan skin, dark circles around his eyes, and two days’ worth of stubble. 

Perfect. 

He unlocked the register, counted it out, and then he made his rounds through the greenhouse. He watered the plants based on a chart his uncle had given him, though he had it mostly memorized by now. The night-blooming determination or whatever it was happened to be his last on the way out of the greenhouse.

Seeing a bud on it was a surprise.

Seeing that the note had changed was a bigger surprise.

L. Morénas-Mostro – CALL HIM

Neil stared at the message for several seconds, and he had no idea how it had changed. It was the same handwriting as before, presumably his uncle’s, but this didn’t make any damn sense. He didn’t know how to call L. whoever since he didn’t see a phone number. 

He stared stupidly as the letters morphed right before his very eyes to create a new message:

HE’S HERE!

There was a knock on the door.

A very loud, very impatient knock.

“Shit! Hold on!” Neil called out. He plucked the note from the planter and then hurried to the door. He had no idea if he was seeing things due to lack of sleep or what, but he didn’t think he’d trust a magical writing note even if he was fully awake. 

Neil hadn’t even turned on all of the lights yet, but whoever was here hadn’t stopped knocking. He unlocked the door and then whipped it open with his friendliest customer service smile on. “Hi, can I help you?”

In front of him stood a jaw-droppingly gorgeous beast of a man with warm copper skin, long black hair streaked with silver, and a sleek black suit. Neil was six feet tall, so this guy had to be six foot five or even six foot six. The man was twice his size, his muscles bulging against the seams of his jacket, and his long hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. There was a thick scar cutting through his left brow that trailed over his cheekbone, and his eyes were the most incredible shade of ice blue.

Neil felt like one of those withered plant things that used to be mermaids in the sea witch Ursula’s cave in comparison. 

Except he was bloated. 

And stubbly. 

At least his shirt was clean. 

“I’m Lou Morénas-Mostro,” the man said in a gravelly voice, a low rumbling purr that accentuated his R’s. “I’m here for my plant.”

“You…” Neil looked back at the note.

The message had changed again:

I TOLD YOU!

Neil laughed nervously and shoved the note in his pocket.

It was perfectly fine that the note was magically changing every time he looked at it and never mind that Lou was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen in his entire life. This was all very normal, totally not out of the ordinary, and not freaking him out in the slightest.

Yeah, fuckin’ right.

“Something funny?” Lou asked briskly.

“No, nothing. Heh.” Neil cleared his throat. “You’re here for the night cactus, yeah? I’ll, I’ll just go get it.”

“Who are you?” the man asked with a suspicious glare.

“Uh, Othniel Ricci. You can call me Neil.”

“I’ve always conducted my business with Mr. Ricci. You are not Mr. Ricci.”

“Excellent powers of observation you got there, big guy.” Neil stepped back so Lou could come inside. “I’m not the Mr. Ricci that you usually work with, but trust me that I can run the register just as well as he can.”

Lou scowled. “You think you’re cute, don’t you?”

“I’m adorable.”

Lou’s scowl deepened.

Neil was well aware that Lou could probably bench press him and hurl him across the room without breaking a sweat, but he never did like rude customers—even the hot ones. His natural defense mechanism was to get sassy, and he cocked his hip, defiantly staring Lou down and waiting for him to speak again.

He was ready with an entire litany of smartass comments.

To his surprise, Lou laughed.

“Feisty little thing, huh?” Lou smirked. “Fine, Mr. Adorable. I’ll deal with you. Go get my cereus.”

“Your what now?”

“The cactus.”

“Right.” Neil darted toward the greenhouse entryway, dropping the watering can off on the service counter along the way. He reached up for the planter, but realized he couldn’t get it down. He was tall enough to water it, but he couldn’t lift it high enough to slip it over the hook.

Lou approached from behind him, his long arms easily grabbing the planter and bringing it down.

The sudden proximity made Neil’s breath catch, and there was a brief moment where Lou’s chest was pressing up against Neil’s back. Neil lurched forward, surprised again when Lou grabbed his waist to steady him.

“You all right?” Lou asked.

“Fine.”

Fine as in this brief contact was the closest thing Neil had experienced to intimacy in months and he’d already broken part of the wall in his bedroom from railing himself too hard with his suction cup dildo.

He was still trying to figure out how he was going to explain the damage to his uncle and now he was already imagining Lou’s dick doing some delicious damage to his insides.  

“Thank you.” Neil took the cactus, his face growing hot as he struggled not to think about anything else sexual right this very second and suddenly sex was the only thing he could think about. “Lemme go check you out. Wait, I mean, let me, uh, ring you up. At the checkout.”

Lou was smirking again, and Neil noticed something under his jacket as he adjusted it.

A shoulder holster.

“Sure.” Lou didn’t seem to notice or care that Neil might have seen his weapon, and he followed Neil to the service counter.

Neil paused when he saw a small brown spider crawling over the register. He set the cactus down and then grabbed a red plastic cup from underneath the counter

He’d drawn cartoon spiders all over it and labeled it SPIDEY JAIL.

“Spidery jail?” Lou asked, trying to read it.

Spidey jail,” Neil corrected as he used a bit of receipt paper to encourage the spider into the cup. “Just give me a second to relocate my friend here.”

To his surprise and delight, Lou walked ahead of him to the door so he could hold it open for him.

“Thank you!” Neil quickly deposited the little spider in his new home, the big azaleas just outside the door. He walked back in, sharing a smile with Lou. “Sorry. I can’t stand to squish ‘em.”

“I think it’s nice. Brings good luck, you know.” It was obvious now with the way Lou’s arm was stretched out holding the door that he definitely had a gun under his jacket.

Neil wondered if Lou was an off-duty cop or a bondsman, and his train of thought halted there because he couldn’t think of any other professions that would need a gun at nine o’clock in the morning and wearing a suit.

“Well, good. I could use some.” Neil walked back to the counter with Lou behind him, knowing he should really keep his mouth shut, but they had just bonded over spider relocation. As he took his spot back at the register, he felt comfortable enough to tease, “So, you expecting someone to mug you on the way home and take your cactus?”

Lou’s nose wrinkled, and then he laughed when it must have dawned on him what Neil had seen. “One can’t be too careful these days.”

“Hope you got silver bullets!”

Lou’s eyes narrowed, and he barked, “Excuse me?”

Neil flinched, taken aback by Lou’s abrupt attitude change. “B-Because it’s a full moon tonight? You know, uh, in case of werewolves?”

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“Yes?”

Lou leaned over the counter, studying Neil’s face carefully. “Did your uncle tell you who the fuck I am? Is this a joke?”

“What? No!” Neil refused to cower, getting right in Lou’s face and snapping, “You think he would have warned me about the smokin’ hot douche nozzle who might show up to get his stupid fuckin’ cactus.”

Yup.

This would be how he died.

Murdered to death by a sexy guy for running his big mouth. Hopefully the many spider rescues over the years would help him end up in a good place.

Lou scoffed, but then he appeared to relax. “I’m sorry. I thought… never mind.” He sighed. “Please. Accept my apologies.”

“No.” Neil smiled sweetly, forcing himself to stay composed even though his bones were shaking inside. He checked the side of the planter for the price tag, eager now to get Lou out of his sight.

There was a sticker with a star which meant it was already paid for.

“Here.” Neil nudged the planter toward Lou. “You’re good to go.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s already paid for.” Neil gestured to the sticker. “You have yourself a wonderful day and never come back until at least the end of summer.”

“I am very sorry,” Lou said, making no effort to take the planter or leave. “Please.” He held out a hand and took Neil’s. “I thought you were making a joke at my expense. I would never do anything to upset my relationship with this store, your uncle, or his extremely good looking nephew who is charming, witty, and whose compassion for spiders is very endearing.”

Neil paused. “Okay, keep talking.”

Lou chuckled, and he gave Neil’s hand a soft squeeze.

Neil’s heart sputtered, and he stared at their joined hands hoping his palm wasn’t sweating as badly as he thought it was. He noticed Lou was wearing a silver charm bracelet with glass beads, but he didn’t look at it for long—not when he had Lou’s dazzling smile to admire. 

“I’m so sorry in fact that I would like to make it up to you,” Lou went on. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner?” Neil echoed in surprise. “You’re asking me out?”

“Yes. In hopes that it will repair our professional relationship.”

“How professional are we talking?”

“Mmm.” Lou’s gaze wandered over Neil with obvious admiration. “Business casual for now?”

“What is that, like a polo shirt and a blowjob?”

Lou laughed. “What?”

“Or like a shirt and tie with some frottage?”

Lou’s eyes twinkled. “Why don’t we see how the night goes?”

“Well, this is officially my longest relationship so far this year, and we’ve already had our first fight and made up. Look at us. I think it’s gonna go great.”

Lou chuckled again. “I think so too.” He rubbed his thumb over Neil’s knuckles before withdrawing. “What time tomorrow?”

“Not tonight, huh? Important werewolf stuff to do?”

Lou grinned slyly. “Something like that.”

“The shop closes at nine, but I could be persuaded to close up around eight.”

“All right then, it’s a date.”

“This had better be a nice restaurant. Cloth napkins nice. You hear me?”

“Loud and clear.” Lou picked up the cactus. “I’ll see you tomorrow at eight o’clock sharp.” He cocked his head, looking Neil over. “Wear something blue.”

“Uh, all right.” Neil was so surprised by the odd request that he didn’t know what else to say. He’d never had anyone tell him what to wear before, and he honestly wasn’t sure if he should be creeped out or flattered. “See you tomorrow.”

Lou offered one more dazzling smile and then left.

“Holy fuck.” Neil exhaled sharply and collapsed back in the chair. “Did that just happen? Did I just get a date with the hot douche nozzle?” He paused. “Am I talking to myself now? Yes. Fuck.”

Neil took a few moments to process what had been the most frustrating and equally sizzling exchange he’d ever had with a customer. Lou’s shit attitude about the werewolf joke was a red flag, but Neil told himself it was only one date.

Maybe lycanthropy was a sensitive subject for him—perhaps Lou had been really hairy in high school and he’d been teased and called a werewolf.

What that scenario had to do with Neil’s uncle he didn’t know, but he was willing to ignore it for now in favor of dinner. It felt like there had been some real chemistry between him and Lou, and maybe he would even get laid if he played his cards right.

After all, what was a fight without makeup sex?

“Then again,” Neil mumbled as he headed into the greenhouse, “he only asked you out after he pissed you off. So, he might just really wanna keep shopping here and not actually be interested.”

“Oh no, darling,” a sultry female voice soothed. “Louis would have never asked you out if he didn’t find you attractive.”

“What?” Neil spun around, but there was no one behind him.

There was no one else anywhere.

He was alone.

He grabbed the note out of his pocket.

It read: ???

Not very helpful.

“He has so many other ways to make people do what he wants,” a deep, growling male voice drawled. “Bribery, brute force, brute bribery.”

“See?” the female voice said. “He must like you!”

“Who the fuck is there?” Neil raised the watering can, his eyes widening in frantic search of an explanation—a speaker, a phone, any sort of device that would transmit these strange voices.

“Oh! Right, of course.” The female chuckled. “I’m so sorry, darling. Allow me to introduce myself.”

A woman in a dress with a poofy skirt and her hair done up in curlers beneath a polka-dotted wrap appeared. She literally popped out of thin air, perfectly solid and standing right in front of Neil.

“Hi! I’m Myrna,” she cooed. “It’s so very nice to meet you.”

Neil laughed.

He didn’t know what else to do.

Beside her, a giant dog appeared. Giant as in it was the size of a Clydesdale, and it had jet black fur and glowing red eyes. Its ears were pointed, its back was arched at an unnaturally high angle, and it was more than big enough to snap off Neil’s head with one bite.

Oh, and because it apparently needed to be extra terrifying, there were chunks of fur missing on its sides exposing its ribs, but there were burning orange embers inside instead of organs or flesh.

Neil laughed harder.

Clearly, he was having a nervous breakdown of some kind.

The note was equally concerned.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

It was nice to know someone cared, but Neil was nearly hysterical now.

“Well, I suppose it’s better than screaming, but are we sure he’s well?” the dog asked.

“I’m sure he’s fine!” Myrna said. “I think he may need a moment to calm down, that’s all.”

“He needs to change those shoes too. They’re hideous.”

Neil sat right in the middle of the floor because of course the dog was talking since that was clearly just what happened when someone was having a mental collapse.

People appeared out of nowhere, notes wrote new messages all by themselves, and giant dogs made bitchy comments.

“Are you all right, darling?” Myrna asked slowly, enunciating each word carefully. “Do you need anything? Maybe some water?”

“I’m great. Just great.” Neil wiped at his face. He’d been laughing so hard that he’d cried, and now he was shaking. “So, uh, is this the part where I die, pass out, or what?”

“Or put on different shoes,” the dog whispered loudly.

“Hey, fuck you, zombie Clifford,” Neil grumbled. “They’re Crocs, and they’re comfortable.”

“The holes must be where all your sense of shame drains out.”

“Right, so.” Myrna cleared her throat. “I’m Myrna in case you forgot, and this handsome fella here is Flanders. We live inside the Reliquary, that nifty little bracelet you got on.”

“I’m not wearing…” Neil looked down at his wrist.

It was Lou’s bracelet, the one he had seen with the glass beads earlier. Upon closer inspection, he saw each bead was actually a small hollow glass container full of either dirt, sand, hair, or…

Bone.

“There’s a whole bunch of us in there, one in each little cabochon, but most times you won’t see anybody else but me and Flanders seein’ as how the others are real shy,” Myrna went on cheerfully. “Saving that little spider sure made Buffy happy though.”

“Who?” Neil asked. 

“He’s another spirit. Buffy is actually short for Bupha—rghhrhhh.” Myrna made a horrible, rhythmic retching sound. “See? Buffy is just so much easier to say. And he is real particular about how people treat critters, big and small. I think he’s been bored with Lou. It’s always the same with him, but you’re so spunky and new!”

“Lou.” Neil took a deep breath. “I need to call Lou and tell him to come back here right now and get his crazy bracelet full of people and talking dogs and weird magical notes.” 

“Magical notes?” Myrna blinked.

“This has to have something to do with you guys, right?” Neil held up the note.

HELLO, the note read.

“Oh! How curious.” Myrna frowned. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure we’ve had the pleasure. Hello there!”

NICE TO MEET YOU, replied the note.

“So, you don’t know why it’s doing that?” Neil shoved the chatty note back into his pocket. “Because it didn’t start acting weird until that cactus thing bloomed and Lou showed up.”

“Afraid not. But aw! Don’t you worry.” Myrna patted Neil’s shoulder. “Lou will be back before you know it once he realizes we’re missing. He knows a lot about magic. He’ll probably know. He’ll be back real soon, I promise.”

“How soon?”

“Well, I do hope it’s before the sun goes down.” Myrna smiled sheepishly. “That lil’ werewolf joke of yours… Let’s just say it might have been a little on the nose.” She grinned. “Or snout. Or the tail.”

Flanders huffed. “I think he gets it.”

“No,” Neil snapped. “No, he doesn’t fuckin’ get it because what you and the damn talking dog are both saying is insane. Are you seriously telling me that hot douche nozzle Lou that I just met is a damn werewolf?”

Myrna ducked her head sheepishly. “Now I can’t tell you that he’s not because then I’d be a big ol’ liar pants on fire, darling.”

“Oh no.” Neil cringed.

“Oh yes.”

“Oh shit.”

“Maybe change first,” Flanders suggested. “Werewolves are very sensitive to fashion.”

| NEXT –>

TWO NEW PREORDERS: La Famiglia Mostro and Tastes Like Christmas!

Wooohoo! I’ve been a very busy little Kat so let’s freakin’ get into it! Coming May 22 is the new ebook and pocket paperback version of Tastes Like Christmas! Just like Playing For Keeps, this is an old freebie from my newsletter that’s getting a fresh edit, formatting, and a new cover! Check it out if you enjoy sweet cannibals and horrible Christmas tropes! XD

Next uppp, I am happy to announce the start of my new monster mafia series, La Famiglia Mostro! The first book is Werewolves Hate Clogs and the cover reveal will be coming in just a few weeks! It’s gonna be SO EPICCCC AHHHH I CAN’T WAIT! For now, you can read the blurb and a fun teaser of the first three chapters is going to be going out in newsletters and available for download here on my website soon!

Othniel “Neil” Ricci has a sweet new gig working at his uncle’s flower shop–good hourly pay, free room and board, and absolutely no idea that the city is apparently infested with monsters.

That is, until he does.

Louis Morénas-Mostro is a werewolf and an underboss in the monstrous crime family who rule over everything that goes bump in the night. When a prized magical artifact becomes inadvertently attached to Neil, Louis is determined to get it back at any cost.

…Even pretending to date him.

What starts as a ruse to keep Neil close and retrieve the artifact before anyone else can claim it quickly becomes complicated. Neil finds himself at odds with an entire monster family, their rebellious enemies, and his own growing attraction to Louis. Though their relationship is fake, their explosive chemistry and the danger ahead is very real.

Neil hopes he lives long enough to find out if he and Louis have a shot at being an actual couple, but first he has to make sure he doesn’t end up as monster kibble.

PREORDER NOW!

Writing All The Things

SFL #8: An Inkredible Love: Now Available!

The Elite: Ace of Maids: Now Available!

Playing For Keeps: Preorder Now! 05/15/2023

Ruthless Daddies: Beast: Preorder Now! 08/11/2023

SFL #9: Love You Always, Suckers And All (Editing, Release Date Pending)

~*~

Coming Soon

Tastes Like Christmas: Preorder TBA

Shoulda Swiped Left: Release TBA

13 Days Secret Monster Project: Preorder TBA

~*~

Current Projects

Daddy Mafia: 11/15 (writing!)

Monster Mafia: 3/15 (writing!)

~*~

Future Projects 2023

Cold’s Brother Thing

CHC #5

Demon Pizza Thing

O Nighttime Dead Thing

Suckery Mystery Thing

13 Days: Volume 3

Gay Murder Lobsters

Secret Card Thing

~*~

Ramblings/Drabbles/BLEGH

Happy May, darlings!

This is gonna be another crazy exciting month so LET’S GOOOO

First of all, huge thank you to everyone for helping make Ace of Maids such an incredible success! It’s still currently #1 in LGBTQ+ Literary Fiction on Amazon and I am so very proud and humbled by everyone’s love for this book. This is my second orange banner and I legit screamed when I saw it. I had such a blast writing this story and I just love that everyone has enjoyed getting to know Dash and Tommy!

Please don’t forget to check out the rest of The Elite series! There are still six more books to go and they’re guaranteed to be fabulousss! <333

Sucker For Love Mystery #8: An Inkredible Love also came out last month and I hope you all forgive me for the evil cliffhanger. I PROMISE IMMA FIX IT. Editing has already begun on SFL #9 and that should be releasing in July or August of this year. More on that when I have the official date! I’m pushing for July because I have another release in August and I hate a double release. X_X;;

And oh! What release is this, you ask?

Ruthless Daddies is BACK, my darlings! That’s righhttt! The sexy mafia daddy collab from last year is back for another round! Mozzarus Scout and I are teaming up to write a new delicious steamy mafia adventure and our book is called Ruthless Daddies: Beast. It’s up for preorder now so you can check out the blurb and cover teaserrr! Cover reveals and more series info coming next month!

Let’s seee what elseeee uhhh

Oh right! Pocket paperback time!

Playing For Keeps is officially off my newsletter and available for preorder as an adorable cute pocket paperback! I absolutely stole this idea from the wonderfully talented Amanda Meuwissen (pssst it’s okay she knows lol) and I’m also going to be publishing Tastes Like Christmas, one of my other newsletter freebies, as a pocket paperback later this month or maybe June-ish.

Until I know when SFL #9 is coming out, my summer release schedule is gonna be a little wonky. Sorry, I know I’ve said that already, but I really am stuck until I know that darn date. I’ll share all the fun deets as soon as I can, but just know that Tastes Like Christmas is gonna be leaving the newsletter soon too.

To replace these old stories, I’m in the process of getting another short story of mine edited called Shoulda Swiped Left. My fan fic people will remember this one as the story of a young man who gets the hookup of a lifetime when he unknowingly goes out on a date with the God of the Underworld. It’s an old one for sure, but I’m cleaning and polishing it up to share as a new freebie hopefullyyyy by the end of the month!

Eventually, Shoulda Swiped Left and Untouched Mussels: A SFL Novella will follow the path of the other freebies and get published as pocket paperbacks too. However, it probably won’t happen until next year when I have more short stories to replace them with! I’m hoping to cycle these freebies through at least once a year,but that does also mean I need to have new novellas to make the swaps! XD

So! Over halfway done with Beast and making good progress on Monster Mafia. When Beast is done, I’ll focus on finishing Monster Mafia and getting that ready for either a June or July release. Againnn, I’m stuck scheduling my summer bookies until I know when SFL #9 is coming out. Aghhhh! It’s driving me crazyyy! D: D: D:

And gee hey Kat wait what are you writing after that?!

Well, Mozzarus and I are gonna be working on our next collab but huh I guess my next solo project is gonna be… Ready to Cash Out.

Yes, FINALLYYYY I am going to write the next Cold Hard Cash book. I know, I know, it’s taken me a million years but it’s finally happening. Remember that this next one is about Cold’s brother, but the last book for Jimmy and Cold should be right after this.

Okay, I lied because I actually have two short collabs to write for winter releases but they’re only like 10-30k so pfffttt I will probably knock those out and THEN work on Ready to Cash Out. Phew. I really want to give these last two books the attention and love and hotness they deserve. I know so many of you have been patiently waiting for me to get back to CHC and I’ve been dragging ass.

Part of it is certainly not wanting to say goodbye to my first book babies and a big part is uhhh I have no idea what the hell I’m going to write about just yet. Oops. I mean, I have a basic idea-ish, but the big turn/reveal/crazy ending I always love to write hasn’t popped up yet. I have an inkling of one for Ready to Cash Out, but not for CHC 5. Which may become even more confusing because I may use that title for CHC 5 and pick a new one for Cold’s brother instead. XD XD XD

Hot Mess Author Mode activated.

Ready To Cash Out just sounds like such a good title for the last Cold/Jimmy book, right!? AGH DECISIONSSS

Anyway!

I can tell you now that while CHC 5 will be the last book for Cold and Jimmy, it is not going to be the last one set in that universe or the last time we see them. This is a message from 2024 Future Kat, and all I will say is that I’m making Mozz write a new mafia series with me. We will see Jimmy and Cold again, even if it’s just in cameos, and there will be a whole bunch of new sexy gangsters to meet and swoon over soooon.

That’s all for now, my darlings! I’ll be posting the preorder links for Tastes Like Christmas and Werewolves Hate Clogs as soon as I have the release date for SFL #9 so I know when to schedule everything (that’s like the fifth time I’ve said that, for anyone who is counting lol), and Shoulda Swiped Left will be going out via newsletter in a few weeks. I’ll probably offer it for download through my website too because I’m super nice like that. XD

Keep your lil’ eyeballs peeled for the rest of the awesome Elite series and check out the preorder for Ruthless Daddies: Beast!

Thank you for all so much for everything you do. I’m so thrilled that you all continue to enjoy my work so much eeeeee

OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT!

SEE I AM A HOT MESS

My GRL 2023 Preorder is open! Yes, I am coming back as a Spotlight Author to the Gay Romance Literature Retreat in Portsmouth VA from October 18th to the 22nd! You can preorder signed copies right here! Remember that these are to physically pick up at the convention and not part of a sign/ship dealio. You have to actually come see my face to get these! XD

There are some titles like Sucker For Love #9 or Ruthless Daddies: Beast that while I may have available to sell at my table at the retreat, I’m not including on the preorder list. Their release dates are simply too close for me to be comfortable ordering them in time to cover preorders (the printer for SFL can take 2+ months for me to get my copies agh). If I get them before the retreat, I will definitely bring them but aghhh I can’t promise that I will! <333

Anyway! Okay, I think that’s really it now. Thank you guys for everythingggg!

As always, you can check out my Patreon to read my current WIP’s and see what I’m up to, feel free to stalk me on all my social media, and stay tuned for more exciting news! <333

Take care, darlings!

-Kat

NEW RELEASE: Ace of Maids is LIVE!

IT’S LIVE!!!

The next book in the sexy super awesome multi-author Elite series is here!

Ace of Maids by K.L. Hiers

(oh hey that’s me! XD)

Being honest in a relationship is very important, but telling the truth about getting rid of bodies for the mob might be a bit of a deal breaker.

Melvin “Dash” Purvis is the latest in a long line of professional cleaners. He cleans up the little problems that local criminals and gangsters leave behind and makes sure they’re never found. It’s discreet, profitable, but lonely. Dash can never reveal the true nature of his job and the odd hours he keeps always end up driving away his potential partners.

All that changes when Dash receives an invitation to a mysterious club and finds himself in the company of his fellow not-so-law-abiding citizens. It is there he meets Tommaso “Tommy” Capelli, a local gangster who’s wonderfully charming and ready to sweep Dash off his feet and right into bed. It might be Dash’s chance to finally have a crack at an honest relationship, but the situation becomes complicated when he runs into Tommy again in the worst possible place…

As part of his latest cleaning job.

Dash’s mentor never told him what to do when one of the problems is still alive and keeping Tommy that way puts Dash right in the middle of a brewing mob war. The passion burning between him and Tommy is almost as dangerous as the men now trying to kill them both, and Dash’s unique skills and courage are put to the test as he fights to keep them out of a body bag so they can make it to their first date.

Ace of Maids is a part of the multi-author series The Elite. Each book can be read as a standalone and in any order. What links these books together is The Anonymous, a club beneath the gritty city where only the elite are welcome.

READ NOW

NEW PREORDER Ruthless Daddies: Beast

That’s riiiiight, darlings! Ruthless Daddies is BACK! I am proud to announce that I am once again participating in this incredible collab with a host of other awesome authors! This year is gonna even more sexy and amazing and WOO! I’m co-writing with the amazing Mozzarus Scout, and our book Ruthless Daddies: Beast is now available for preorder!

Cover reveals and more series info is coming next month so keep your eyeballs peeeeled for that! Enjoy a peek at the blurb and just trust meeee that you’re not gonna wanna miss this!

Taking a job at an infamous club run by gangsters is certainly dangerous, but the money is too good for Noel Bradley to say no.

After confronting his boyfriend’s infidelity, a single night of poor decision making has cost Noel his job, his education, and his future. He’s desperate to get his life back, but he needs a steady paycheck to make that happen. Having to wear tight spandex briefs and getting groped nightly isn’t his idea of fun, but he cannot deny how well it pays.

Everything is finally looking up…

Until Noel accidentally draws the attention of the club’s owner, the Beast.

Barrett Armstrong is a merciless man with a legendary temper who doesn’t take no for an answer and always gets his way. When he decides he wants Noel to spend the night with him, Noel is faced with bargaining away his virginity to appease him. Desperate to keep his job, Noel falls into bed with Barrett and soon finds himself pulled into Barrett’s dangerously violent world.

Noel has to confront his own beastly urges to survive and Barrett is determined to give Noel something that he never even knew he needed:

A Daddy.

Beast is part of the Ruthless Daddies multi-author collab and a complete standalone. Expect to find a criminal Daddy, a tough boy, high steam, and some dark mafia themes. Want more deliciously morally gray Daddies and boys? Grab the whole series!

PREORDER NOW

NEW PREORDER: Playing For Keeps

SURPRISE PREORDER! XD XD XD

My short story Playing For Keeps is being released as a wee pocket paperback and you can grab a copy May 15th! This 15k BDSM novella is spicy and sweet, and you can have it in cute tiny paperback form or read it over on KU! This story was once part of a charity anthology and then it was a freebie in my newsletter for a million and one years. Now it has a forever home over on Amazon with a new pretty cover, an extra sexy epilogue, and I hope you guys check it out! <333

PREORDER HERE

Mateo Delgado never does anything without a plan.

A natural gift for numbers and organization allowed him to build a successful custom leather business, but his busy schedule has left him poor in the romance department.

When he finds himself in need of a man with unique skills to help a loyal customer, does he opt for a more experienced candidate or risk his success on the apparent amateur who his sister is mysteriously pushing him to meet?

An Inkredible Love is LIVE!

Sucker For Love Mystery #8: An Inkredible Love is LIVE! We’re finally getting Fred and Ell’s story, and I am so very excited for you guys to read this one! I do believe their book is the most romantic of the series, but oof be prepared for some angst! <333

(Also pssst Acsquidentally In Love is only 99¢ right now on Amazon! So, if you haven’t yet started this epic series, now is the perfect time! Keep your eyeballs peeled because Kraken My Heart will also be going on sale later this week!)

(Also also pssssst yes this book will be joining the others on KU, but we’re at the mercy of the ‘Zon as to when exactly it will be enrolled. Hopefully just a few days if not sooner! <333)

It’s hard to have a love life when you don’t have a pulse.

All that changes for Fred Wilder when he meets Elliam Sturm a few weeks after Sloane Beaumont first becomes a Starkiller and kills a god.

As a ghoul, Fred Wilder needs very specialized medicine to combat his constantly rotting body. As a thief, Fred needs that body in good condition. Fortunately for him, Ell does the impossible: brings new life to Fred’s dead flesh.

Just being around Ell makes Fred feel alive for the first time since his untimely demise. He’s so charmed by Ell’s bright personality and shared love of obscure fantasy that he doesn’t think twice about the source of Ell’s power. But this is Archersville, so their blossoming romance is threatened by a dangerous painting that could awaken an ancient god who could destroy the world. Now the fate of billions hinges on Fred completing a daring heist.

But as Fred and Ell work together, the true depth of Ell’s power becomes impossible for Fred to ignore, and he’s forced to accept that perhaps the biggest mystery—and the biggest threat—has been with them all along….

PURCHASE NOW